Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weed-whacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgot that I was mowing where the dogs take dumps, I absentmindedly whacked over dog poop… which got flung into my face. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to mow a dick into my grandmother's lawn, but the mower leaked gasoline and now there's a giant dead grass outline. FML
Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML
Today, I saw my neighbor's son mowing their lawn when suddenly he started to do this crazy dance. Chuckling at his antics, I waved and walked back into my house. His mom called me from a hospital later to ask if I could put the mower away; he had been attacked by bees. FML
Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML
Today, one of the kids in my neighborhood told me he would mow my lawn for 10 bucks. After a few minutes, I heard the mower stop. He had mowed a penis into my front yard then run away. FML
Today, I agreed to lend my daughter's inflatable pool to my neighbor for the day. Barely an hour later, I witnessed his son jump off their balcony, missing the pool by inches. He's now in hospital, and my neighbor has sworn to sue me, saying I'm responsible because the pool is mine. FML
Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire two acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I left my phone outside on the grass while I went inside to get a drink. I didn't expect my dad to run over it with the lawn mower. FML
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Top comments
WhiteCrimson 23
Points for innovative thinking! F on thinking it through first!!!
You_Screwed_Up 7
At least he was trying to be creative in his laziness!
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Comments (105)
LarissaAllen 10
Bet you can't wait to teach your kid all about cruise control on the family vehicle!
lonewolf658 6
For me it's mostly error #11
cheekyterier 13
This kid is going places. Not college or university, but places.
threer 30
Such as McDonald's.
NotoriousLES 14
Actually, McDonalds has relatively high standards these days. Walmart, on the other hand, not so much.
toooldforthis 19
Idk, if he keeps workin at this lawn care, he could be a wife snatcher by time he's 16
giorgi0202 9
should of pulled out
DocBastard 40
You should have said "should have", and you should have used some capitalisation and punctuation, and you should have perhaps included a subject in your comment. Other than that, you were spot on.
mirokuboy2 20
At least you have an excuse to buy a new mower?
morella_xx 29
Yeah, everyone wants an excuse to blow hundreds of dollars on buying a new appliance that they shouldn't have to replace yet. I love when my stuff breaks out of warranty!
atrandom 11
If there is a warranty on it, yes great. Although, it always seems that things break or get destroyed the day the warranty ends
ninjuh_wingman 29
You had one job kid. One..freaking..job.
Bano360 25
God damn it!
Warmonger_Smurf 29
He was just trying to work hard and make money. Mow the lawn, and get money for algae removal of the neighbors pool.
morella_xx 29
I feel like I need an age clarification on your son before I can really make a judgement here. If he was 11, for instance, that's probably still too young to be left alone with a potentially dangerous machine. But if he was 15 or so, he's definitely old enough to know better than to do crap like this.
Treveyon56 14
Actually a 11 year old can. I had to learn to mow the lawn at 9.
graceinsheepwear 34
You are right. People don't realize now dangerous lawn mowers are. I got my leg tangled in one at 14 when a riding mower bucked up when put in gear and I have a permanent handicap of foot drop because the nerves on my leg were cut.
NotoriousLES 14
Shit, I'm sorry that happened. That seals it, mowers are on the list of tools and appliances my son is banned from ever using. God bless him, he's as accident prone as Mr. Bean!
Mifflicious 18
I tried to mow the lawn for the forst time when I was about 6-7 or something. I was too small to push it around though. My brother on the other hand started mowing the lawn when he was 9-10 years old. My mom didn't trust me to not mow the dandelions down D:
autumndobbs 11
Hey at least you can console your self know that it's YOUR kid. Well shit..
tommylover842 23
What, you mean that's NOT how you're supposed to do it?? Damn...