Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one rip. My husband yelled, "She likes to eat beans." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Today, I found out that explosive diarrhea can happen, and at the most inopportune times, such as on the day of MY wedding. At the altar, while my husband said his vows. FML
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
Today, my husband started a food fight. During our wedding reception. FML
Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML
Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML
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Top comments
MSJ91 1
haha, now you'll remember your wedding better you should be laughing at it; it makes for a better memory
stickitystickman 0
HAHAHAA OH SHIZ that's so classic, you're a keeper.
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Comments (142)
midgetgerbil 0
That's disgusting.
RadioOctopus 16
You don't fart?
Phillay632 0
Whoa whoa whoa. You got married today and the first thing you do is get on FML and post your incident? I mean, it's 3:00pm Central time right now. Shouldn't you still be at your reception? If not, you should be consummating your marriage or preparing for your honeymoon.
mcsnelly 5
Every fml has to start with "today". The op did not immediately get on here to post about it.
qwerty97_fml 0
did it stink......wow did you fart on him....... haha gnr =P
sickinlove13 0
I don't know if you know this, but everyone farts. So what's the big deal? At least your husband laughed it off and no one saw it as a bad omen that you dropped his ring.
hecuva 0
ouch that sucks :( beans are magical though XD
hecuva 0
:(
hecuva 0
mcsnelly 5
That would be embarrassing enough, farting in the middle of your wedding ceremony, but your (now) husband just made it worse! Sure, he has a sense of humor, that's great. But, he just made an embarrassing situation in front of all your friends and family even MORE embarrassing with that comment!!
sharkshaveteeth 0
How embarrassing! I hope that no one but your husband and people at the alter heard you and the guests just thought that he had tourette's syndrome when he yelled out that you like to eat beans! That is pretty funny though! FYL, but I hope that you can laugh about it later!
netbeui435 3
beaner