Today, I learned that no matter how much you assume that the crunchy bits in a bag of crisps are in fact crisps, you will occasionally find that your assumptions are wrong. Beetles just don't have the same appeal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the Oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML
Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML
Today, I decided to snack on some M&M's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my M&M's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the M&M off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an M&M. It was a dead beetle. FML
Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML
Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML
Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML
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Top comments
Komatose 0
I know wut u mean. I hate it when crisps get in my bag of beetles
Captain0bv10us 0
maybe you should go out more...
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Comments (83)
Heavensburden 0
My brother is a sheet metal worker - he does the shafts for Kelloggs... bug parts in Cereal is a common common thing. Everything sticks to that sugar.
rakhil11 7
i totally luv the way u phrased this. awesome. every1 should write like this, so much funnier! and ewww that sucks....
dolce079 0
as if you didn't realise it was a beetle. fake.
SusanaSaysRawrxD 0
OP; I love you for the way you worded this. Instantly favorited ;D Best written FML I've seen so far! -claps- xD
Thabb 0
AUGH!!!
mishkaroni 15
It's because of this site that I ALWAYS check my food
SunsFan 0
Protein
alphabitch 2
At least it wasn't a roach!
imabong 7
you are what you eat!
ChelzTheWolfGirl 29
Ouch. That's a crappy situation. At least now you know you don't like beetles if you ever visit a different country.