Today, I decided to snack on some M&M's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my M&M's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the M&M off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an M&M. It was a dead beetle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MKC_fml 0
snatching it off the floor so your dog doesn't eat it....good. Popping it in your mouth before looking at it....not so good.
betsymonty 0
And the worst part? A dog wouldn't get sick from a single M&M.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (194)
tateno 0
yes! first comment! hahaha thats funny as hell!
mrjakesuba 0
I hope you spat it out.
isaiaha11 2
did u find the one that dropped?
MKC_fml 0
snatching it off the floor so your dog doesn't eat it....good. Popping it in your mouth before looking at it....not so good.
Doogy700 5
Agreed.
OBTrice 15
Just one question what the f*** is a MandM
Danny Doyle 11
M&M chocolate candy
AnimeJet 0
equally YDI and FYL. This might be the tightest one in terms of voting yet, haha.
2queen18 2
whats ydi????
xxJustTxx 0
ydi for taking a dogs tiny treat away it sounds quite greedy
SystemofaBlink41 27
165- you do know chocolate's poisounous, right?
kianaaa32 17
You do know that only dark chocolate is poisonous right? And only if consumed in a great amount, my dogs have gotten into plenty of chocolates in their life time and are still alive, even dark chocolate.
cryssycakesx3 23
176 just because it hasn't killed them yet doesn't meant it won't. you don't give chocolate to a dog.
jdb2009 0
Goddamn idiot.
dang_fml 0
lmao thats so gross! i agree with #2
AK 2
#2 stole the words out of my mouth. You're a complete idiot.
jSOPURE 3
Taste any good? =X
renthead88 0
fail.
Wonka_fml 0
Were you the one that dropped a pill on the floor, picked it up and took the pill. Then found out the next day that the pill you were suppose to take was still on the floor? You took something else? People don't look at what they eat anymore?
J_a_s_m_i_n_e 0
Hahaha, tasty.