Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML
Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML
Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, I polished off the delicious iced gingerbread cookies in the pantry. I'd assumed the little flecks on them were speckles of broken icing, but as I went to throw the cookie bag away, a larva crawled out. The hundreds of flecks were moth eggs. I've been eating the cookies for three days. FML
Today, I found a package outside my door and assumed that I'd drunk-ordered shit on Amazon. I opened it before checking the label, which I should've done because it was addressed to my neighbor, and contained 6 pounds of live crickets for someone's pet lizard. I have never closed a box faster. FML
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Top comments
justsayfuck 5
Let me guess, it's still in the cupboard, waiting for its next victim?
RachelHellYeah 0
that's totally something I would do!
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Comments (73)
JackedUpOnMtnDew 0
your brother for the win! :D
DudeImBetter 0
At least you didn't eat it, this is a stupid fml.
tweetbaby14 18
whatever happened to good old fashioned animal crackers?
BahahahLOL 0
New Cockroach Crunch Crackers!
pooponyuou 0
don't you just love boys?
MdoAngel 0
lmao that made me laugh so much.
KiddNYC1O 22
17's pic made me laugh so much. poor kid though lol
DudeImBetter 0
At least you didn't eat moldy crackers that were more than a year and a half old.
zp5 4
^don't you mean moldy donuts?
2kool4skoolyo 0
^^ yes yes buggy crackers are as ba as moldy donuts
chaldochamp3 6
I'm guessing u ate moldy crackers that were more than a year and a half old
KingDingALing 9
Man, I'm constantly looking at the expiration date on the food I eat. I would never eat food or drink something that's even just a day past it's expiration date.
ThePwnapple 0
Don't try to eat white people next time.
RachelHellYeah 0
that's totally something I would do!
NemuiTM 0
Same.. xD
yeahreally 6
sounds like something my brother would do too but then again i would put the box on his bed lol
StrictlyMCH 0
ur brother wouldn't get a chance with ur fat ass eating them before he could even have gotten to them
impatientkarma 0
You sound like me, I would put it on my brother's bed too. & ROFL @ the fat ass comment.
justsayfuck 5
Let me guess, it's still in the cupboard, waiting for its next victim?
KiddNYC1O 22
****
Compufreak 0
****!
kfrizzle2 4
****!
mspencer809 3
FUCKK!!!!!
imaginaryvoice 18
Me!
illmatic2 16
Whut?
AudaciouslyInsan 0
Her!
KiddNYC1O 22
lmao^
underaegis 0
yes let's **** the imaginary voice
SirSantpoort 0
I'd definitely do you!
Trollz4daLULZ 2
YDI for even SAYING "crackers", you racist son of a bitch! And how the hell do you have a box of white people in the cupboard, anyway? Also, YDI for having a brother, for having a kitchen, and for not eating the bugs for the extra protein. I'd ask for them if I was still an anteater, but I changed into a giraffe a few months back.
BoCo_fml 9
I think all brothers do those type of things, just to annoy us. I agree with #3 put them in his bed, but under the covers by his feet.
suppressed08 2
I don't. My brother does though :/
Biancaisbizarre 0
You look a lot like Julia Stiles, BoCo.
Ambi_lee 0
Haha! Me and my brother would do that, only with stale chips lol!
tweetbaby14 18
*my brother and I
shanie123 10
lol
BoyBeyond 0
Your brother is a dipshit. He could of threw the damn crackers out man. Honestly he sounds like the type he leave empty wrappers on the floor and room dirty as shit. I'm sort of a clean freak when it comes to the kitchen and stuff i don't like nasty people.
hnz 13
this sounds like my bro! such an ass!
Cates500 0
Top 20 Yes I'm awesome
skateandsmoke420 0
u should change ur picture ur not even ripped