Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I bought 3 buckets of expensive low-calorie ice cream because it was on sale, only to discover it tastes rather awful. I thought I liked that stuff… Oh, I remember now, I did like it… After mixing it with lots of chocolate spread. FML
Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
I think I understand- My wife has a neurological disorder that affects her short term memory. It was due to a stroke when she was younger. When she goes to the doctor or places where it’s important that she remember things, I go along as her “outboard memory.” There have been times when I had to remind my wife of entrees she likes or how she usually has it cooked. It’s a tricky situation, I don’t want to come off as overbearing, but I hate seeing her floundering to recall things. I assume that the FML is about the memory issue, not having wasted a dollar or two on a candy bar OP didn’t like. My wife deals with her memory problems by keeping a careful calendar of her appointments and taking notes about things that are important. You might find the Notes app of your smartphone useful since it’s always with you. It goes without saying that you should see a neurologist to have your memory issues diagnosed. Some are more serious than others.
RichardPencil 32
Memory is the least of your problems. If you don't like chocolate, you may be a psychopath.
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Comments (6)
RichardPencil 32
Memory is the least of your problems. If you don't like chocolate, you may be a psychopath.
Chazzster 32
I think I understand- My wife has a neurological disorder that affects her short term memory. It was due to a stroke when she was younger. When she goes to the doctor or places where it’s important that she remember things, I go along as her “outboard memory.” There have been times when I had to remind my wife of entrees she likes or how she usually has it cooked. It’s a tricky situation, I don’t want to come off as overbearing, but I hate seeing her floundering to recall things. I assume that the FML is about the memory issue, not having wasted a dollar or two on a candy bar OP didn’t like. My wife deals with her memory problems by keeping a careful calendar of her appointments and taking notes about things that are important. You might find the Notes app of your smartphone useful since it’s always with you. It goes without saying that you should see a neurologist to have your memory issues diagnosed. Some are more serious than others.