Today, I learned that no matter how much you assume that the crunchy bits in a bag of crisps are in fact crisps, you will occasionally find that your assumptions are wrong. Beetles just don't have the same appeal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the crumbs on the couch that look like the Oreos you just ate, can actually turn out to be very crunchy, and have legs. FML
Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML
Today, I decided to snack on some M&M's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my M&M's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the M&M off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an M&M. It was a dead beetle. FML
Today, I was hungry and decided to nibble on some Cheez-Its I had in my room. After I'd enjoyed some of them, I looked into the box to see how many I had left, where I noticed a lot of little black moving dots. Apparently I wasn't the only one enjoying the crackers. FML
Today, I found out that worms in apples aren't something that you just see in cartoons. FML
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML
Today, I realized how stagnant my life has become when, while eating some leftover salad with crackers I'd left out the night before, I decided to open some new crackers and put them with the stale, and giggled to myself about the excitement of "cracker roulette." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Komatose 0
I know wut u mean. I hate it when crisps get in my bag of beetles
Captain0bv10us 0
maybe you should go out more...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
elara15 0
Really, this is only an FYL depending on the kind of beetle involved. Dermestid beetles are often used by labs, museums, and universities to eat the skin off human and animal carcasses!
allseeingeye 0
Wow that sucks, but I think it is fair punishment for how badly you worded this FML.
Zpecial26 0
#7 is the best! mmm beetles :3 omnomnom
so_me_fml 0
So, #33, I'm not understanding why the genus and species of the beetle would make a difference in the level of FML. A bug is a bug is a bug, if you ask me.
PinkUnicr0n 0
#7, that was word for word exactly what I was going to post. let this be a lesson to me and whoever... drunk does not equal witty.
Phallus_fml 0
Boring!
ilessthan3you 0
umm. yucky
coloredwax 0
Ugggh thanks. I was eating baked beans when I read this. I've lost my appetite for them now... :[
sdixon 0
Very well worded, nice job, and that would suck to haven eaten a beetle. I have seen people eat them and I can imagine the sound that it makes, and I am at the point of losing my dinner.
speedHog 0
ugh that reminds me of this one time, I once dumped some very old cereal I found in a cupboard into a bowl. I could't find any milk and looked at the bowl in defeat. That's when I noticed there was a living colony of weavels in it. Saved by the lack of milk.