Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
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Top comments
fuzz97 23
Paranoia is a hell of a thing
challan 19
That's one too many espressos
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Comments (130)
yeongji 31
You would think she would accuse you of taking a picture rather than badmouthing her. Ego much? People and their belief that the world revolves around them and everything is about them (facepalm*)
Wizzlbang 10
Well, you know what they say. You can't say 'over reacting' without saying 'ovary'! uhuhuhuhuhuhu (I am immensely sorry and understand completely if this comment is buried)
cappellaaa 23
I would have knocked that bitch out
erichsalvesen 13
Why didn't you tell her to **** off and continue on with your business?
erichsalvesen 13
No you wouldn't.
thew_fml 14
once, many years ago i was at a concert, when between the set break, the guys came over to me and the lead dude asked why i kept looking at them. i said i wasn't, they insisted i was. i said i wasn;t , they said they were going to kick me ass if i looked again. i said i wouldn't, trying to end the conversation, as it doesnt pay to engage with the crazy. his response "aha - so you WERE looking at me"
zen1979 16
Some Bitches be crazy. What can ya do?
zen1979 16
Roses are Red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I
xr0517 10
lunatics
xs4u 13
psycho much?