Today, I was outside at a café when I looked at my phone. As I did, a woman halfway across the patio started screaming at me, demanding I tell her who I was texting and why. She then sprinted over, furious at me for apparently badmouthing her to somebody. All I did was check the time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a girl with her eyes glued to her phone bumped my arm going in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. She dropped her phone, chased me to the bus stop, and told everyone that I broke it. She threatened to call the police. FML
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML
Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
Today, while out to lunch, my sister called me and asked me to pick her up from the mall. I told her she'd have to wait. She got pissed off and started cursing at me, so I hung up on her. She called me back 37 times until I answered and yelled "WILL YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?" It was my boss. FML
Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while asked me if I wanted to meet her in person. Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house. When she opened the door, she screamed and called the cops on me. While detained, she called my phone asking why I never showed up today. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
fuzz97 23
Paranoia is a hell of a thing
challan 19
That's one too many espressos
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
abylaunch 10
When I was in high school I worked at an amusement park and I pulled out my phone to check the time. Some old broad came up and yelled at me for "taking her picture" and started telling me that I was breaking the law and she would have me fired. I just looked at her like she's an idiot and said "Umm why would I want a picture of you?" Some people are sooo full of themselves!
FarFromSocial 9
She sounds insecure.
perdix 31
Perhaps you have that unfortunate habit of adjusting your junk absent-mindedly and hanging your tongue out of your mouth as you are texting? No? So, it's just me?
fuzz97 23
Why are you arguing with yourself
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
Someone has self-esteem issues
Obey_StudBoii 23
Sounds like she's 51/50.
fuzz97 23
I don't get it
truth_teller23 11
5150 is police code for crazy. Like the dierks bentley song.
olpally 33
Bitches be crazy... Tell her to lay off the caffeine. Psycho bitch.
ravenh1979 13
Haha!! Really!! Lol
WolfAtTheDoor 7
If you can't be crazy in public who's going to know about it, right? That's just all kinds of wow right there. OP, I like how you didn't text anyone about her, I'm assuming. But you did make sure to post on FML about her where anyone could hear about her losing it. Good one!
TypoH 7
Now you actually have a reason to bad mouth her in a text.
BFons 19
Isn't technology great?!?