Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML
Today, at work, man who was buying medicine for his son came up to me for help. He didn't know how to explain it to me, so instead he showed me a picture of a rash on his kid's butthole. FML
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After I said no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML
Today, as I was standing in line at the checkout, the elderly guy in front turned around and said quietly to me, "Sometimes I shit my pants." He then nodded grimly and turned back around, hitting me with the full force of the stench now coming from his pants. FML
Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom after he had been in there a while. I found him with his pants down, looking at a pimple on his butt in the mirror. He asked me for, "Help." FML
Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML
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Top comments
karamman 5
WTF? So this guy just carries a picture of a turd everywhere he goes?
perdix 31
Would you have preferred that he showed you his uncircumcised penis that looks like a turd?
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Comments (177)
hateevryone 15
Who takes a picture of their dump?
rcgirl2 11
Lately, these FMLs always take place in Canada.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Wait, what? God the Grammar is giving you cancer? I didn't know God was a grammar.
condango 0
Classic (Zach Gilifinackis voice)
ItsKennyBaby 9
sounds like a shitty situation
hoper423 3
That's muffed up
s0ulslack 20
Should have said it looked more like his face, sick bastard
geko911 22
Hey hey haters... Canada isn't more like that than the US, actually, it so seldom happens that it's worthy of being on FML... Now the reason why we don't see Americans writing such FML's might be because it's such a regular occurrence. OP on behalf of all not-******-up Canadians, I'm sorry for some people's blunt stupidity... Btw I know it doesn't happen in the us but it's the same as saying it always happens in Canada; it reflects people's ignorance. No offence to all not-******-up Americans out there.
Jewbenita 0
woah didnt see THAT coming.
KitKat16 9
That is so gross! I feel bad for you OP