badplacerightnow
Frisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Celebrate good times come on!
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
vcarder
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
I remember…
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Gurior
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
fmeplease
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Time to pretend
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
fuckit
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
clash
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
anon
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Quickshot
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister, saying, "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gagging for it
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
hmmmm
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Tiny Tim
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Top comments
pureportedpear 27
Look on the bright side, you are atleast not getting an unwanted child...
rockbandaddict85 22
time to replace it, most likely gone bad, no longer effective. on another note, it sucks that's it's been at least a year since you saw any action. sorry op :(
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Comments (89)
Muffinypowers 19
At least you're not getting STDs or anything, right? Sleeping with a lot of people isn't a good idea, so know you're doing better than many.
whoviancutie 9
At least it's not the first birthday of your unwanted child!
demonfacee 14
Happy birthday, condom.
LeBandit 20
happy birthday
ChristinePi 36
Never keep condoms in your pocket for extended periods of time. Your body heat breaks down hoe effective it can be. Good thing you haven't used it yet.
Luna08_fml 8
wow i don't know weather to laugh or cry
Akouseur 7
Probably a good thing since you see to be ignorant about how to keep a condom to make sure they WORK.
missblove 17
Funny how the one who can't catch a simple spelling error is calling the OP ignorant! There is a reason they give you a chance to edit, buddy, haha! *Seem
Akouseur 7
Are you serious? You're serious? One tiny little mistake. And I got downvoted for THAT? God you people are ******* elitists *****. Goodbye.
nchic01 17
those things expire!
ericjprs 3
You really should throw it away, if it expires it might bring you something you don't want
screwedtilldeath 6
throw it out. they deteriorate in your pocket you don't want that sucker to burst.