Today, I discovered that I'm short enough to be legally considered a midget. My daughter now wants to bring me to school for show and tell. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML
Today, despite being in high school, I'm still shorter than the average 3rd grader. FML
Today, I got mugged by a midget. FML
Today, my friends and I go to a bar and get wasted. I walk around and see a kid. I start yelling, "There's a child in this bar! There's a CHILD in this BAR!" She turns around. She was a midget. FML
Today, I got my long hair cut in a short pixie cut. When my five year old daughter saw me she laughed and proclaimed 'You look just like a man!'. That afternoon I got a concerned call from the school. My daughter has told everyone 'mummy has gone away, I now have two daddies!' FML
Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML
Today, a 6th grader came up to me and told me I have the smallest breasts in the class. I'm their teacher. FML
Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML
Today, in class I was teaching 6 year olds about the difference between short and tall, and I asked them how they could see that I was shorter than the other teacher. One of them raised their hand and said it was because I'm fatter. FML
Today, someone thought I was my boyfriend's daughter, instead of his girlfriend. I'm 4'11", he's 6'2", and this has happened four times already. FML
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Top comments
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.
DocBastard 40
That's a little insensitive of your daughter. You'll feel better shortly, though there's a small chance I'm wrong.
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Comments (80)
biggmike 6
first
jessisaur 0
congratulations on accomplishing nothing.
karinah_fml 0
haha how didn't u find out befor?? fyl
I_R_Genius 3
Looks like OP got the short end of the stick.
I_R_Genius 3
Looks like OP got the short end of the stick.
jmatx 0
lmfao wow i was thinking the same thing
zukinihudini 0
i didnt know there we illegal midgets
OCDC 9
Yes there most definitely are. Like the one who mugged that guy a few days ago.
Person000 0
illegal midgets are A REAL DANGER TO DE UNITED STATES. DE CUM IN HUR LOOKIN FO OUR MONEYS AND THEY TAKE OUR JOBS! DE TAKE OUT JEBS! DE TAKE OUR JERBS! EH TOOKEN ER JERBS! EHTAKERJERBS!!!! DETJQKQJF696969HEJDNJOBS!!!
bubblegumapplesa 0
lmfaoo
pooponyuou 0
so is my mom op. it's called being Asian.
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
Come on, OP! It'll be fun! You'll probably fit right in!
insanesna1l 0
that's what she said. Seriously though, there is nothing wrong with being short. You can walk through small doors, ride the kids rides, and when it comes to "play" time, no kneeling for you
ConfusionsLoveMe 0
Oh, and also get on the bus for free!!
MRSladyFACE 0
There is a difference between midget and dwarf. You are legally considered a midget if you are 4'0" or shorter and a dwarf at 4'11" and shorter. However, the FML does not state how tall this person is. So you can't really say its a lie if you don't have all the facts. Nice try though.
MRSladyFACE 0
and if you are going by her username, that's not a solid fact either. I could make my username QueenofFrance if I wanted.
IsayWOW 0
omg #79 Ur hilarious!!:)))
ISinSoDoYou 0
79 I read "DEY CUM IN HUR" and thought "so THAT'S how that got in my hair!"
Skroal_stomper 5
hey Jmatx? I like that pic. Did you just find the pic somewhere or did u make it? I want to know how to do that.
jk9037 0
Lmao !
hapy_pig098 13
Rofl it sounds like you wont enjoy six flag ^_^
H3adFonHyStRiA 0
well don't disappoint the kid. you should dance around and sing a song too.
kingtz 6
Not to mention wear something from the set of "Willow" while you're at it.
kingtz 6
Not to mention wear something from the set of "Willow" while you're at it.
yyyydyyyy 0
like an oompa loompa
Shivverr 0
69 I LOVE that movie!
striker249 0
she can sing we represent the lolipop kids XD
Lizza330 28
You're 4 feet 9 inches? Yay then I'm taller than you. ^^
Shorty_Shaza 5
Me too! :D I'm one of the shortest people in my year lol but it doesn't bother me at the slightest! OP this is just something you have to live with, if it bothers you that much then just wear some heels to add on that extra height but there's nothing wrong with being 4"9
MichaelGood 0
I'm taller too :)
MichaelGood 0
but it is fun to wreck smaller girls! (no shorter than 5" tho :/)
hereforthehour01 0
wow 14 aren't you classy...-_-
hereforthehour01 0
44*
docscientist 10
I'd say he's short on class.
MichaelGood 0
just saying small girls are fun too! how tall you are isn't a huge attraction some guys have preferences but other than that it's no biggy! small is nice
MichaelGood 0
I'm just saying that bring small is nice! for some guys it's a huge attractive quality! I like small 5-5"3 usually. but really height isn't a huge deal!
sgenfkshe 5
haha im 5'5":) buttttttt I'm 13 so ithink that would be illegal...;):) lmao:)
kcnutt10 1
62:
kcnutt10 1
Sorry about my previous comment. I accidentally hit 'send' prematurely. But 62: We know you're 13! You've already mentioned it under 6's comment! Why do you repeat yourself so much? This is the second FML, that I've seen, that you've said the same thing twice.
oooKiLLaHooo 0
I know right!! and why the f are 13 year old kids on this sight..it's no wonder why people are so ****** up now and days..there is some pretty mature stuff on this sight.. just saying..
pedosmurf 7
Just like your picture haha
sweet_candy_ 17
Hummm I wonder if the kids in her class are taller than you.
kemar7856 0
4 foot 9 inches your allowed to be considered a dwarf LOL
EatnBeef 7
I'm 6'4. what does that make me?
Idk_what2say 0
That makes you a douche.
Calyx_fml 22
The first thing you should know is that the word midget is like the word ******. Only use it if you are one. Since you are... you're free to drop the M bomb.
Zodaicz 4
How tall are you? :o
chilly012 3
haha;)
aback 5
Well, let her tuck you under her arm and take you!
skyeyez9 25
I walked into my daughter's elementary school and a group of 6th graders walked past me. They were all taller than me.