badplacerightnow
Frisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Celebrate good times come on!
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
vcarder
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
I remember…
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Gurior
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
fmeplease
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Time to pretend
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
fuckit
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
clash
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
anon
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Quickshot
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister, saying, "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gagging for it
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
hmmmm
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Tiny Tim
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Top comments
pureportedpear 27
Look on the bright side, you are atleast not getting an unwanted child...
rockbandaddict85 22
time to replace it, most likely gone bad, no longer effective. on another note, it sucks that's it's been at least a year since you saw any action. sorry op :(
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Comments (89)
Enslaved 38
Just turn it into a birthday ballon! At least something has a chance of getting popped!
minesbiggerr 25
Epic win :) Edit: dont know if you meant that to come across as a virgin joke :/
Scotticus117 11
It's actually bad to keep a condom in your pocket for that long. Throw it out cuz it's likely worn out now
littleteapot 21
You think thats bad? 5 of mine just expired.
Helvanica 22
why don't you try to make an FML about it.
littleteapot 21
I already have one published FML. I won't be greedy lol
devildog562 33
Condomed to be alone .
Liamj774 36
Well the condoms birthday is the only thing that's sucks, huh?
mycondolences2u 7
keeping condoms in your pocket isn't good for them. Not in a wallet either. That one is probably no good now anyway.
Arot6 17
Ooh. Don't use it. After a year in your pocket (bad environment), you could end up with a break.
3molliver3 16
I would say blow out the candle, but I guess blowing is all you've been getting.
nikmiester 7
He wishes.
Haze360x 0
They grow up so fast :')
pratikp03 22
Get new onces..those expire
DaBlacky 31
yeah, but after 5 years...