badplacerightnow
Frisco, United States 🌶️ Spicy
Celebrate good times come on!
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
vcarder
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
I remember…
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Gurior
Canada 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
fmeplease
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Time to pretend
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
fuckit
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
clash
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Anonymous
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
anon
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Quickshot
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister, saying, "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
Noname
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Gagging for it
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
hmmmm
Australia 🌶️ Spicy
Tiny Tim
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
Top comments
pureportedpear 27
Look on the bright side, you are atleast not getting an unwanted child...
rockbandaddict85 22
time to replace it, most likely gone bad, no longer effective. on another note, it sucks that's it's been at least a year since you saw any action. sorry op :(
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Comments (89)
vikky538 29
time to blow the condom and get a new one.
Zebediabolical 45
I hope it's that rubber's last birthday. Throw it away or make a water bomb and replace it with a new one. In other news, you can get slimline hard cases for condoms so they don't get rubbed into uselessness. Get one of those if you want to keep your jimmies for more than a year.
keiNan_fml 35
how about putting that in a museum
Axelo 11
Plotwist, he's been having unprotected sex this whole time.
yerrkiddingme 2
Are you having cake?
Bi_ShrDiWun 10
"Circ, Circ, Circular Impression. Leading to a state of depression..."
Chazzzor 10
Get a new one - they don't last forever.
DogeMan 14
Well this is kind of weird but happy birthday?
NellieeNell 18
Happy birthday to your condom! Lol
pere 11
Today should also be it's funeral. Time for a new one and for it to not stay in your pocket.