Celebrate good times come on!
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister, saying, "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML
Today, it's the sixth anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML
Today, the condom slipped off, because my boyfriend refuses to admit that he needs to use smaller condoms. FML
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Top comments
pureportedpear 27
Look on the bright side, you are atleast not getting an unwanted child...
rockbandaddict85 22
time to replace it, most likely gone bad, no longer effective. on another note, it sucks that's it's been at least a year since you saw any action. sorry op :(
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Comments (89)
kalbrek009 20
Time to toss it, get some new ones & DON'T carry them in your pocket unless you've got some kind of container to keep it in...they tend to wear out & fail when kept like that...just be glad that you hadn't used it within the last 11 months or you could have been looking at an std or a child before you're ready to be a parent.
missblove 17
What about the clearly filthy pocket it was found in, hm? haha
NeoCarmik 9
You should by it a perfect cake and let your dogs ass crush it
katie1128 5
I think this was a joke..?
boston420 3
Wont be sleeping with you!!
wingL 11
how did u remember...
ranomboy134 7
I'm sorry but you probley deserve it
nikmiester 7
Maybe you should celebrate .......alone!
Blah123459876 3
got you beat by alot there op 1 year isn't %÷=#
leahree 23
lol that sucks