Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
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Top comments
CallMeHush 1
Tell her your girlfriend must have left them there, she will forget all about the smokes.
tomisbetterthanu 0
YDI for smoking
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Comments (50)
HarperGirl 4
oops too late you got some splaining to do mister
Roadside24 0
Way to godfather it
russianspy1234 11
"I'm sorry honey, I used to smoke, but I've quit" ~you And its not even lying!
UnluckyAsUsual 0
YDI for smoking. Also, you could have told her it must have fell out of your friends pocket that ocasionally smokes when he was taking a dump.
13__Loki__13 1
Dont lie to her. That will end up making things worse in the end At least she didn't find the pot.
hellokimmiee 5
suuuure you decided to quit :/
allen20 0
Lmao #2 :D
alex1432 9
busted!!!!!!!
MysteryMan808 0
tell her it's her fault you smoke. if she wouldn't nag and stress you out so much you'd quit. tell her she can then be part of the solution bj= stress relief
Aloira 0
YDI for lying to your wife. My husband "quit" smoking a few years and I found out that he started up again behind my back about a year ago. I was far more upset that he hid it from me than by the fact that he was smoking again. Quitting smoking is hard... get some support, apologize to your wife and maybe you can quit for real this time.