Today, after secretly smoking for more than two years, I decided to quit. I came home from work to see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to quit smoking. My wife conveniently decided on the same day that she was going to start smoking. FML
Today, as I was smoking a cigarette I realized that it's time to quit. This realization came to me after a particularly violent coughing bout forced not tar out of my lungs, but rather poo out of my bum. FML
Today, I decided to quit smoking. During my lunch break, I tried to ash the KitKat bar that was in my hand after I took a bite. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he started smoking again and had smoked almost a whole pack in 3 hours. We were on the phone and I was on the bus. He knew that was the perfect time time to tell me, because he knew I wouldn't yell in public. FML
Today, I quit smoking. My son came home with an ashtray he made in arts and crafts class. FML
Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML
Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML
Today, I found I had rolled, and was smoking a cigarette without realising it after proudly entering my third day of being a non-smoker. FML
Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML
Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CallMeHush 1
Tell her your girlfriend must have left them there, she will forget all about the smokes.
tomisbetterthanu 0
YDI for smoking
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (50)
bubbles1286 1
this happened to me, except i was on the other end of it. The lying is far worse than the smoking. ydi. She's supposed to be your wife.
chris_42 11
Lemme guess, all this drama makes you want to smoke?
Ninjaface 0
Wait, you mean it took two years for your wife to find out even though you've been hiding it behind the toilet (one of the most obvious and therefore bad places to hide things)? Sounds like she's been smoking something as well...
wh4t3v3R 0
Yeah, you quit just today. You couldn't think of any better excuses? YDI.
purplepickle 0
im saying this is fake. I mean seriously, how can you go for 2+ years without your wife noticing that you taste like an ashtray? or that you smell, or the bathroom smells, your clothes, your breath. Tobacco has a strong smell, it's really not that easy to get rid of really fast.
teiso_fml 0
Yeah, the timing might have sucked for you, but you still deserve it, going behind her back for so many years is not cool no matter what decisions you might make after the fact. Tell me this: Upon your decision to quite, were you also deciding to own up to her about doing it behind her back the whole time? If you were, I have some sympathy that she found out before you got a chance to tell her yourself. But if not, sorry bud, your own fault.
that_guy321 2
FAKE. How can you go two years smoking and NOT get caught? It gives you a pretty nasty odor.
jaded_gal 0
What are you 12? If your old enough to be married than you should have enough balls to man up
z3r0nline 0
for Christs sake ur already married ur acting like a 12 yr old kid yrying to hide he smokes dude YDI
Wiiilmaaa 1
the wife found only after 2 years the hidden cigarettes? She did a not very nice job cleaning... especially the toilet...