Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML
Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, Christmas got cancelled this Saturday because of my narcissistic sister being upset that the guest list has two of her old friends, who are now my friends. It's my first Christmas with my family or friends in 23 years, and my mum even offered her a separate dinner on the 25th, but nope. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
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Top comments
LouisianaBob 9
On your birthday ask for something your parents are allergic to.
Angel_Tigeress 5
What the **** is wrong with parents these days?! Its FMLs like this that make me sooo angry. I think it is safe to assume that with such neglegent parents, you don't have an epipen or an inhaler, so when you can no longer breathe, make sure you call 911- bypass your parents entirely- and take a nice little trip to the ER. Tell the paramedics and doctors WHY you cant breathe. And enjoy your stay. Your lovely parents can foot the bill ;)
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Comments (159)
LouisianaBob 9
On your birthday ask for something your parents are allergic to.
Princessx3Jamie 0
You should ask your parents to get you monthly allergy shots. They are expensive but it's their fault you will need them.
peteyfas 8
Well, you can't both be the favorite child
Keyman1212 14
I don't know about Australia where OP is from, but in Texas, if you have bad allergies to an animal, you can call the local pound and by law they come and pick up the animal because it is endangering the health of an individual in the household. Needless to say it's a great way to ruin everyone's day, but yours.
Roevera 14
Hey, maybe they're insinuating they want you out of the house depending on your age I guess. =P
Keyman1212 14
44: I agree with your post, however, that would be the only LEGAL and honest situation. Not all pounds kill the animals when they receive them. A lot of the time, the pound will send animals to non kill shelters to help get the animals adopted.
Neopets_dot_com 0
Give the cat to the animal shelter and say it ran away.
mr_torch91 1
Just put it outside and act like it got out. Duh.
iam_yummylicious 12
Or take allergy medication like a sensible person and let your sister enjoy her cat. Yay for doctors!
decidedlyvague 11
throw the cat into a bag and take it for a little "vacation".
CanadianPuckHead 4
88 ur ****** up
Prodigy7 4
Just die and sen your parents on a guilt trip.
scottybhoymad 0
Good idea
PhilipTheDeacan 0
How is 88 ****** up? Everyone loves vacations.
WutzButz 3
Holy shit, really? In the states animal shelters just kill the animals? Glad i live in germany, you don't hear stuff like that for shelters here. sorry, wrong commented. oh well.
Sacurason 0
44- Because a), lying is wrong, and b), allergies are serious. They can actually kill you, because such serious allergies actually fluctuate from day to day, closing your throat up more on some days than other days. What's more important, a person or a cat?
whatovit 1
nah cant do that here in aus 34 i agree that you should ask for something your parents are allergic to
decidedlyvague 11
I guess no one imagined the dog saying what I said....
guitarplayer546 0
Sorry op. I severely allergic to cats myself and that's pretty brutal of your parents to be so dumb. How do they think this will turn out? You generally don't out grow an allergy and the lucky ones who do. Well it doesn't happen over night.
leprechaun23 15
And yet you have a pic of a kitten as ur profile pic
Daralea 21
Yearning for something (s)he can never have...
DoubleDose 0
You should surgically close all their throats so they know how it feels
franniedottp 8
Aller Clear. It works wonders.
jelmermcgee 8
When they go to sleep, take the collar off and let it go by a busy road.
abluekiwi 0
Yeah, that TOTALLY seems like a reasonable response. It's not the cat's fault, but that of the parents. So put them in the middle of a busy road.
BB_ava 0
3, read the FML again. OP is allergic to cats.
jelmermcgee 8
#64, what are you, retarded? I read the FML. She's allergic to cats. Since her parents are morons who clearly aren't gonna listen to reason, she should let the cat go on a busy road. Take the collar off so it can't be identified if someone picks it up rather than run it over like they should.
jelmermcgee 8
#64, what are you retarded? I read the FML, she's allergic to cats. Since her parents are morons and don't care that she's allergic to cats she should take the cat to a busy road and let it go. Take the collar off so it can't be identified if someone picks it up rather than run it over like they should.
PhilipTheDeacan 0
Or donate it to the local Chinese buffet.
perdix 31
There will be a day about you very soon -- when you get hospitalized or die. It would be a shame if something happened to the cat such that you could still breathe freely. I'm not even going to mention about putting antifreeze in a can of tuna.
Shadow_Phantom 26
Okay, I know the OP has allergies, but the OP doesn't need to KILL the cat.
CADMAN82 1
Says the satanist.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I know that was a joke, but still let me point out that modern "satanism", which is what most people nowadays who identify themselves with the term actually follow, does not call for the sacrifice of animals, or other violent acts typically associated with "Satanism". So no, the girl above probably does not kill cats.
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Kill the cat, buy a Komodo Dragon.
AshleighNason 24
no she just needs to skin it
perdix 31
She can always just shave that pussy. Y'know, because it's the dander in the fur that causes allergic reactions.
DrDilllonReese 12
You worship the devil, you kill cats. That's the way the cookie crumbles, that's the why the kitty crumples, snaps, squeals, and dies.
You_Need_Soap 6
Actually, it's the enzymes in the saliva that cause most allergies. Cat licks fur; fur sheds; your histamines are ******!
False_Stupidity 42
Shaving her sisters pussy sounds a bit incestish... and #39.. Allergies can kill, so it's either her or the cat...
Lichinamo 33
Actually, there are still some dander allergies. I have dander allergies, and boy, the stories I can tell. I actually missed a class because I touched my face after petting a hamster, and my throat felt weird and it was hard to breathe.
Epic_Fail911 15
discrimination much?
hiLife808 0
Leave the door open when they're away and say the cat "accidentally" got out, problem solved (:
NeekaTodd 3
Doesn't really work if the cat is an outdoor cat anyway.
samsea 5
Just give it away or throw it outside, your parents are ****** there messing around with your life.
neimato1 0
I agree lol
doglover100 29
I agree. I don't get some adults these days.
cloudiarose 5
That sucks! and nice one number 4 hahaha
Wheredidgrungego 12
My dad did the same thing!!! I've literally been sick for 2 months. I feel your pain OP :(
minisquid 9
Actually, if you're 18, that could be a hint.
Angel_Tigeress 5
What the **** is wrong with parents these days?! Its FMLs like this that make me sooo angry. I think it is safe to assume that with such neglegent parents, you don't have an epipen or an inhaler, so when you can no longer breathe, make sure you call 911- bypass your parents entirely- and take a nice little trip to the ER. Tell the paramedics and doctors WHY you cant breathe. And enjoy your stay. Your lovely parents can foot the bill ;)
mrmerino 0
Do this OP. Do this do this do this do this
jackieee8D 7
its 000 in australia , not 911 XD
Angel_Tigeress 5
I have the mobile app. It doesn't tell you where the OP is from. But obviously most people know the gist of what 911 is, so your correction just makes you look like a nit picky attention monger.
Melanie7317 0
Erm... It shows that OP is from Australia.
Angel_Tigeress 5
ERM. Read what i posted. i have the mobile app. On said MOBILE APP, it does NOT show where the poster is from.
TheDarkCynder 2
Yes it does. I use it. top right corner.
Angel_Tigeress 5
No, the top right corner is the catagory.
Angel_Tigeress 5
No, the top right corner is the catagory.
yellow_jello 3
Erm,I have the mobile app as well and it does tell you where they are from :)
Rebi3144 8
The category is the top left. It does in fact say Australia in the top right. Instead of saying they are seeking attention, you could have just said "oops, thanks for correcting me," instead of looking like a massive prick.
happysmile987 24
For me it doesn't tell me on my iPhone, only on my iPad
kittykat1501 31
One problem, if OP can't breathe, OP can't talk
deviable 9
Just make sure the cat stays away from you and your stuff. Buy some nasal spray, it helps with sneezing, and some reactine, and try not to go near it. If that doesn't help then there's not much you can do.
Angel_Tigeress 5
with a serious allergy, NONE of that will help. So much as being in the same room as it will set the allergy off. Its very sensative.
deviable 9
I had a very serious allergy to cats but that worked for me. It depends on the person.
samsea 5
I am so allergic to cats if i am in the same house as them I have to go straight to the hospital.