Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML
Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML
Today, I found out that my dad is actually my uncle, and vice-versa. FML
Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML
Today, my best friend told me she was pregnant over the phone. While in the middle of telling her congrats, she told me it was with my boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
Today, I went to see my sister and took a couple of dog biscuits for her dog. I forgot about them until later when I realised I had a hole in my pocket, near my crotch. The dog pointed this out by chomping my balls to get to the biscuits. My attempts to remove him resulted in more vigorous chewing. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I invited my boss for supper as we get on pretty well. Everything was going well, until my German Shepherd bit him. FML
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Top comments
aback 5
At least she didn't tell it it was going to be a daddy.
SweetieLish 0
Is it just me, or is there quite a few of the "My parents like the dog/cat/animal more than me" FMLs on this site?
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Comments (81)
Englishrose 0
My dogs ranks higher than me, all my siblings and my dad according to my mam. I think it is like that in every household. Not really FML moment. More of a OMG I'm going to have a niece/nephew.
neonokku 0
To OP: BIG EFFIN DEAL
_chrissy_ 0
I agree. Your mom probably just expected you to figure it out when she "told the dog" and she probably didn't mean anything by it. FYL? I think not. My mom told me after she dies all of her money is going to her dog rescue...so there you go, haha. Pretty common situation, I think.
evilbrent 0
yeah. get over yourself. not everything is about you.
andyn 0
Too true, she's not becomeing an uncle is she ;]
americayay 0
OP was RIGHT next to her mother. Making this not an FML at all, because OP's mom would've know that OP could hear her. Dumb.
dan81892 2
you should have said "shouldn't you tell that to me, grandma?"
heyhoe_fml 0
wow, i feel so bad for all of you with shitty moms who give more importance to their pet than to their own kids...
w3p0n7 1
lol
Bstaut 8
pretty sure it would be hierarchy, not a food chain...
EpicSquishii 21
that's what i was thinking
aback 5
At least she didn't tell it it was going to be a daddy.
ReasonsToFly 0
I WAS THE FATHER.
LightningrodC 3
That's pretty amazing.
inflagranti 0
if you just want more attention why dont you get pregnant too?.. c'mon
redbluegreen 41
I really think she was joking in this situation.
sam_stalker 0
Haha sucks to be you
eliz3 0
food chain?
zachbredberg 0
Yes. Her mom would eat her before she ate her Dog. Which makes this an FML. haha
lexiBRo 0
yeah, my mother is annoying like that too. She will literally walk in the house and say HEY TYSON! MISS ME?!? and then speak to everyone else after she picks him up and pets him for a while. AND she will hang up with you if he starts barking bc he wants to play. :::rolls eyes:::
AntiChrist7 0
So next time you're asked to babysit, you just say "ask the uncle to do it"
fretforyerlatte 0
can we get that "who ******* cares" button yet?
fretforyerlatte 0
we're not allowed to swear now or what? wtf. fine, i'll rephrase. how's it coming with that "who cares" button?