Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML
Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML
Today, I wasn't allowed to work from home, despite being ill enough to just take the day off anyway, all so there could be "someone to answer the phone." The phone didn't ring once all day. FML
Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML
Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, I wanted to spend the day cleaning my room. My mom thinks that I was lying just to stay home, so she yelled at me to go to her shop. At the shop, she yelled at me for not being any help. When we got home she yelled at me for having a messy room. FML
Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML
Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML
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Top comments
sensoon15 7
put the dog in her bed and let it shit and piss everywhere. "the dog sitter didn't do her job. next time you do it."
A7X_LoVeee 10
The ****? I don't know what's worse..the fact that they all went without you or how she referred to you as the dog sitter. Who wants to vote?
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Comments (118)
marinus_fml 20
Could have been worse.They could have left you home just for the hell of it.
RandomBlackMan 0
you sit on dogs.. wtf?
salvorican 24
Urkele's wearing a gameboy... wtf?
MrSassypants 34
It's not Urkele. Look closer. I'm on my iPod so I click the picture and make it larger. It is definently not Urkele.
MizzErikaHart 8
it's practically urkele.
MrSassypants 34
Okay back to the FML or a reply to #1 people before our comments get deleted.
Jimmyd0t 0
OP must be adopted
luis420 0
agree with #25 lol
chrispyy21 0
did yaw mowles da doggie
DocBastard 40
I haven't brought it out in a while, but I have to put this comment through the Idiot-English translation engine. "Did you molest the doggie?" That's much better...yet the comment still makes no sense.
A7X_LoVeee 10
Oh shit. So that's what 27 said.
shutupYDI 4
nice muscles.
ocpanther 0
where do you work out you're in shape
hollysterT 0
lmao
XXizzlerXX 0
lol I love how the topic changes :)
ella868 0
your face looks funny in the pic! d;
sensoon15 7
put the dog in her bed and let it shit and piss everywhere. "the dog sitter didn't do her job. next time you do it."
MrSassypants 34
Well guessing by OP's name he might have already had that idea. 8)
mejiiaa 0
look on the bright side , you can have a party and do whatever you want .
PulselCie 3
EPIC.
smellymellyy 7
54 that photo is seriously fake :/ especially as your about me is simply 'poop'..
A7X_LoVeee 10
The ****? I don't know what's worse..the fact that they all went without you or how she referred to you as the dog sitter. Who wants to vote?
mamaklm 0
part two
enonymous 9
The part where he doesn't realize the liquor cabinet is open and they are home alone with only a dog to look after. I would have bought a skywriter announcing that party
Otherhats 20
Like for the "dog sitter" comment.
Otherhats 20
Like for the family going on vacation without OP.
StormGirl142 24
That is messed up.
johnson94 5
must be the Ginger step-child!
FreebirdIII 1
Someone was adopted.
MikalaHart 4
I get the sense that your family doesn't like you very much...
nickdunbar 8
That really sucks, just for that let the dogs loose on the house
nananabatmannnn 0
Are you by any chance a ginger?
kendallhi 9
LMAO
NecroParade 3
Wouldn't it be a shame if some of their electronics etc got chewed up and peed on? That would be so unfortunate for them. Oh well, food for thought.
rebekahah 7
you probably opted out of the vacation to watch all their pets, but still, fyl because they weren't very grateful.
obnum 19
ur family is mean. why did u stay to take care of their pets anyway?