Today, it's my sister's birthday. My parents got her a cat. I have serious allergies when it comes to cats. When I brought this issue up with my parents, they replied, "This day is not about you, it's about your sister." I can feel my throat tightening already. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML
Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat to take him to the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML
Today, my sister went into early labor. Instead of telling me, my mom turned to my dog and said, "Guess what? You're going to be an uncle!" Our dog ranks higher than me in our family's metaphorical food chain. FML
Today, my sister told me not to come over anymore because her baby is scared of my face. FML
Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year-old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML
Today, Christmas got cancelled this Saturday because of my narcissistic sister being upset that the guest list has two of her old friends, who are now my friends. It's my first Christmas with my family or friends in 23 years, and my mum even offered her a separate dinner on the 25th, but nope. FML
Today, I was insulted and harassed by my sister and her boyfriend, all because I proposed yesterday. They were angry I might get married before they did. They have known each other since primary school; I met my fiancée earlier this year. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. She decided that her "gift to herself" would be to leave the loser who has been holding her back for two years. Hello, my name is Ben, and I'm that loser. FML
Today, I was babysitting a new child. I guess she heard me tell her parents about my severe peanut allergy because she got a jar out of the pantry, spread it all over the stairs leading to where her fort was, and walked around with a baseball bat covered in it so I couldn't come near her. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and felt deep breathing on my neck. I screamed, fell off the bed and busted my nose. It was just my cat. FML
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Top comments
LouisianaBob 9
On your birthday ask for something your parents are allergic to.
Angel_Tigeress 5
What the **** is wrong with parents these days?! Its FMLs like this that make me sooo angry. I think it is safe to assume that with such neglegent parents, you don't have an epipen or an inhaler, so when you can no longer breathe, make sure you call 911- bypass your parents entirely- and take a nice little trip to the ER. Tell the paramedics and doctors WHY you cant breathe. And enjoy your stay. Your lovely parents can foot the bill ;)
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Comments (159)
donthurtme956 0
It's my birthday too :'D
All_Blacks 2
No, I can't see ANY favoritism in you're family.
terrask 11
No animal should suffer for human stupidity but then again no human should suffer from it either. Call EMS when symptoms bother you, usually people are receptive to uniforms. Especially when wielding a syringe.
hateevryone 15
your parents are crazy
anjtrg_1112 23
What I'd like to know is what your sister said...
cloud175 6
who would put ydi?
shutterbug_brit 1
Idiots. A pet shouldn't be a gift to one family member, it should be a decision made by the whole family. People like that piss me off. You and the cat will have to pay for their idiocy!
cooljule 0
We know who the favorite is...
dansco 25
Time to move out... Or wear a mask hiding in your room :(
sandmancometh 3
Take the cat for along ride and let him go