Today, I was walking up to girlfriend's house when her terrifying Marine Corps dad threw a football at me. Not being very athletic, I surprised myself by catching it. He gestured for me throw it back and I watched it spiral wildy to the left and hit my girlfriend's mom in the face. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad at a tennis game. I could tell he despised me from the start, but it only got worse when I played him. He smashed the ball at me and I went to hit it, but I missed and fell over, tearing my arm up on the gravel. He had a smirk on his face for the rest of the day. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, while at a football game, I had my arm around my girlfriend. We were really close and I was just about to kiss her when suddenly her phone rang. It was her dad, telling her he's watching. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom was over on the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said, "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
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Top comments
mylifesucks_alot 0
I sympathize. I'm a girl. I'm straight. However, I have the football-catching abilities of a sack of flour. Throwing is something I am even worse at. I feel bad for you because her scary father is probably going to get a whole lot scarier after this instance :(
Soak 0
You must have scored some brownie points with that =)
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Comments (106)
loveme123 0
Well that sucks :(
look_its_me 0
your fault. if you're a guy you should be able to throw a football. (I don't mean you should be good at it, but be able to throw straight...)
rwac07 0
incomplete play.
whostolemylama 12
that's incorrect, some people are good at throwing, others catching, and sometimes none. Being male has nothing to do with it
lennelleong 33
i agree being male has nothing to do with it. But OP should have counted his blessings after catching the ball and then manfully walking over to his girlfriend's father to return it. (: Then he would have kept his respect.
tehhotness 0
she shouldnt be such a dumbass and pay attention. bitch deserved it
Soak 0
You must have scored some brownie points with that =)
popoman 0
Maybe a touchdown.
mylifesucks_alot 0
I sympathize. I'm a girl. I'm straight. However, I have the football-catching abilities of a sack of flour. Throwing is something I am even worse at. I feel bad for you because her scary father is probably going to get a whole lot scarier after this instance :(
Rawenkeke 0
Goal or wut!
Callyn 47
That blows. I'm sure they understand that it was an accident, though, and it'll be ok. I just hope you apologized profusely.
tehhotness 0
You should have made the "its good" sign with your arms, then did your best end zone dance
silver848 6
Challenge accepted
amykillswitch 0
haha that dad is gonna beat your ass.
harrypotter955 19
I bet that's not the first time that mom had balls thrown in her face
Chaith 16
Listen to #8 if you want your car to be put in drive and you stuffed back in the trunk.
sorry_you_fail 0
#7- What the hell?!?! Seriously, SHUT UP and go away. It's okay, I can't throw a football to save my life. One time I tried to throw a football back to the game and instead it hit somebody's head and knocked them out. Just explain that it was an accident and it'll be okay.