Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
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Top comments
Zelphoric 25
He wants dirty texts? Send him a picture of mud, maybe he'll understand that. Quite dirty if I do say so myself.
m22100 14
Maybe you should send pics, that's more clear. ;)
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Comments (98)
Bebbo_fml 21
I think he wanted you to text him dirty dishes pictures instead op.
colombiatti 14
He got more than what he bargain for haha
Bigfabthetruth52 22
that's kinda confusing considering he suggested it.
threer 30
More like clueless..
LadyQuantum 7
Methinks your idea of 'dirty' is not his idea of dirty......what a mess!
Misoranomegami 16
Ahh my ldr started like that. He got very good at it eventually though. And on the plus side if you haven't started an in person physical relationship and you do in the future you'll be used to talking about it and already know each other's interests.
EffyFails 18
I do this, I don't understand dirty things very much atall, don't know why, but yeah pretty much always my response either wording's thrown me off, I just have no clue or for the most part I'm unsure, have an idea, but want to be clear haha
Red_Lego 10
Ahh the beauty of sexting
rockhead1270 5
Call him...there was sex and communication way before texts and tweets
renyftw 3
or maybe that person is 10 years old using a fake profile? yeah. take that into consideration. "/