Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML
Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a sweet text message, since he recently complained that I'm rarely romantic. Instead of being happy, he decided that since it's so out of character for me, I must be cheating on him and must have only sent it out of guilt. FML
Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a dirty picture to turn him on. He texted back: "Jfc, why wud u tease me like that?? Srsly fuck off". FML
Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML
Today, I was feeling really horny. I decided to send dirty texts to my girlfriend. I sent the first and she didn't reply, so I sent more and more and then I got one back saying 'Stay away from my little girl.' FML
Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML
Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML
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Top comments
Zelphoric 25
He wants dirty texts? Send him a picture of mud, maybe he'll understand that. Quite dirty if I do say so myself.
m22100 14
Maybe you should send pics, that's more clear. ;)
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Comments (98)
tranced_ 45
slow down.. grab the wall, wiggle like...
paigexox0 37
YOU WANNA MAKE YOUR ASS FALL OFF ('_')
SnoochBoochie 14
Examples, please.
WD_Stevens 22
Well, he's not me so you're not in a relationship with the most innocent guy ever (seriously, my friend is getting real tired of having to explain nearly everything she says)
missAlsa_fml 7
Lol thats kinda cute
FemskyD 26
N awww innoicent puppy :)
abbey728 16
I want you so bad that I'm going to dip my **** in lighter fluid, light em up, and slowly rub my thighs with salsa.
RedPillSucks 33
This is soooo disturbing. Yet's I'd still like to watch it.
TheCerealKiller 24
He could be trolling you.
tishtashbat 16
Ask him to send you something first so you know what sort of thing he wants - that's what I did when my bf asked me to sext him :P maybe he's just trying to get you to be more detailed/graphic but asking too bluntly and putting you off. Or I find it easier if you talk about a scenario, like what you'd do if you were together, start flirty and build it up from there.
lsvxoxo 12
Maybe you had to text 'dish, laundry, toilet'
ahh_rats 15
I hope he posts what you said on here haha