Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML
Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
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Top comments
myoukei 31
Your mom definitely needs the yoga more than you do OP!
RavesAndWrists 8
Okay, your mom sounds like a ******* crazy person.
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Comments (101)
cheymgurl 4
Sounds like my mom
RollingCakes 21
As someone who has only done yoga once, got tired after 5 minutes, and is Indian, I can assure you that the ability needed to do it for long periods of time is not human and might be a bit on the supernatural side
titibug823 11
I do it for an hour and fifteen minutes regularly. Its will power and finding your inner strength
GentlemanBastard 15
Sigh... And so many people see nothing wrong with following a cult because millions of others do it. This is one of the closed-minded, hate-spewing, condemning ideas that come from said cult. It's kind of ridiculous, really.
worldclassrager 41
Try something she likes maybe watch a movie together or something
xxsakuraxx 29
How the hell is yoga satanic?
scary_mama 4
Ahh the things people don't realise these days. End times are coming.
lexutzu 12
I guess she isn't that flexible. Sorry to hear that.
moonbootz 7
Older people are more set in their ways...trying tl change them? Classic rookie mistake...itll be okay OP. Get fit. Rule the world. Proud o' youuu!
samy_yo 12
The word Yoga means Yoke. What most people think is that you are actually being yoked to Hindu false god demons. Because Yoga was created by Hindus that worship literally thousands of false gods otherwise known as demons. So your mom has a point if that's what she believes.
nitrog100 21
That's actually relatively accurate information. The earliest reference to 'yoga' was yoking a beast of burden. What we know as yoga is an amalgamation of traditional stretches and exercises that was slapped together during British occupation.
dimasev 12
Never bring up pilates