Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML
Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
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Top comments
myoukei 31
Your mom definitely needs the yoga more than you do OP!
RavesAndWrists 8
Okay, your mom sounds like a ******* crazy person.
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Comments (101)
NOTaDISTRACTION 17
I like badges!
lunadaisy12 16
well, back in the day (waaaay back lol), Yoga WAS done to allow a demon to enter your body. All those positions were to relax and allow the demon to enter lol
realtingdis 12
Yea not many people are aware of that. Supposedly each pose is used to call a different god or something like that.
FelicityWishes 32
Least you tried!
Tejsandhu 0
Not every word is based on english yoga has nothing to do with yoking dont know where you get the information, also don't know if you are joking #57 but if you aren't then you got a message from upstairs telling you that hindugl gods are false and yours are true ?
samy_yo 12
Did you read the part that said "most people think"?
Blaisey 22
Perpetually do the dead man's pose in the living room surrounded by red candles
smalltownman 15
How the hell is yoga possibly satanic? I guess that means being sexy, toned, and flexible will be a ticket straight to hell then.
retromermaid 12
Well, not to be rude, but every position represents a god/goddess, and the reason that yoga was created in its most basic sense, was to worship those gods/goddess. If your mother is a not a Hindu and highly religious, she probably wouldn't want to do that. I'd encourage you to look this up as well. Very interesting.
thisguy22 33
Well... It is an easy mistake to make to compare yoga to worshipping the devil. All that bowing and scraping combined with the unnatural, completely self-inflicted bending and torturous stretching could easily lead one to assume evil is involved.
militarybrat 21
Yeah my mom thinks the same thing about yoga. They be crazy. FYL
BenjiX_fml 13
Momma says yoga's the devil