Today, a friend came to visit me from across the U.S. We spent the majority of the time she was here standing in the rain, at the dog park 20 miles from my house, so she could "make sure her baby poops on time". Basically, I took time off to watch my friend's dog take 6 craps. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came to visit a friend I haven't seen in 3 years for a fun 2 month vacation of you know what. She has 2 more dogs now and soon as I stepped in her place after flying across the country, there were 2 piles if dog crap on the ground. I already want to fly out of here, and this is only day one. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Today, I'm dog-sitting. To give the pooches some exercise, I took them on a long walk through the fields, where they run, play, and sniff around to their hearts’ content. Thirty seconds after coming back home, one of them made a ginormous puddle right on my living room floor. FML
Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML
Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML
Today, I'm sick of watching my friend's dog while she is on vacation. In four days, the dog has shredded my mattress, peed on my couches, chewed my kitchen chairs, and attacked my dog while she slept. My friend won't answer her phone, but she does update Facebook non-stop. Ten days to go. FML
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
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Top comments
Bquillero16 18
6 craps? What does your friend feed it? Laxatives?
iiSpitMarbles 16
That's so rude of her.
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Comments (24)
itssnotfunny 24
What a shitty day.
Bquillero16 18
6 craps? What does your friend feed it? Laxatives?
Teyros 24
*insert comment about shitty time off*.. But for real Sucks op. That dog knows it has to pee on things to claim its territory?
iiSpitMarbles 16
That's so rude of her.
countryb_cth 38
I think if someone did that to me I would leave them there and go home. You took time off from work to see them and that's how they treat your time? That's pretty fricken rude.
may14th 26
so.... 6 different craps or 6 turds?
ssnow_fml 20
Sounds like a shitty situation. Sorry, I had too. I'll see myself out now.
yerawizardlizzy 27
No, you didn't have to.
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
I dunno who even let you in.
hekinokuroihi 20
Is this the plot to a Paris and Nicole episode?
flyingflies 36
Nothing like quality time with your dear friend.
IorvethTheXolo 8
Like I said in a recent FML comment, dog people can be freaking weird. My dog is housebroken and all the proper stuff and will go to the bathroom on command (something important for a dog that goes tons of places to know so you can make sure they're empty before you go inside), but he ***** when he *****. There is no "time". I mean, obviously I do pay attention to how often so I know if there's an issue with his health, but I don't give a rat's ass if he decides morning, night, or mid afternoon is the best time to crap. As long as it's in an appropriate place and not inside.