Today, I told my mom I've been taking yoga lessons, and that it'd be cool if she took some with me. She immediately went on a rant, calling yoga "satanic" and accusing me of trying to get her into "devil worship". Well, that's the last time I try to patch our relationship up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having watched a scare story on the news about heart disease, my mom is now insisting that we have daily, hour-long, family yoga sessions together. I have a job, and barely have enough time to do my homework as it is. I'm going to be grounded if I don't take part. FML
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out and threatened to send me to a Bible camp, after catching me admiring a photo of a bikini model, which is apparently "immoral behavior." This is the same woman who cheated on my dad twice, justifying it by claiming the Devil tempted her. FML
Today, I came out of my bedroom to find my mom doing yoga in my hallway. Naked. She doesn't seem to think there's any problem with this. It's my house. FML
Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML
Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML
Today, I finally mustered up the courage to tell my overly-religious parents that I'm an agnostic. They asked me why. As soon as I gave my reasons, my mom called me a "bigot" and hurled a bible at me, and it nailed me in the crotch. She then said, "That's what you get, non-believer." FML
Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML
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Top comments
myoukei 31
Your mom definitely needs the yoga more than you do OP!
RavesAndWrists 8
Okay, your mom sounds like a ******* crazy person.
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Comments (101)
Omniprism 15
Your mom sounds crazy.
sartrow 8
I think your mom may be in need of professional help
Bluekaren16 19
Religious people.
van__hawthorne 12
The other day I offhandedly mentioned that several of my college buddies are really into Magic (as in Magic: The Gathering) and my mother literally growled and told me to stay away from "those ******* heathens" so I feel ya OP.
mrnipples7311 13
My mom told me the same thing.
BiNeko 12
How is it satanic?
KelbsOhYeah 7
I just love how the post about yoga comes from California...
baibai709 1
Is your mother a JW ?
alicat13 12
She does have a point. Yoga originated as a form of worship for a 'pagan' god :-)
Misuto2 6
Yoga was actually composed of people who wer either calling the dead, calling gods or spirits, and even calling Lucifer (satan). Those positions aren't random at all. Yoga actually IS satanic. I've studied the art of yoga for almost a year, soo...