Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 80 year-old grandad is having more sex in his retirement home than I am as a married man. And by that I mean his care staff had to call me to say they found him having sex. That’s once this year, whereas I’ve not had sex with my wife in three years. I can’t afford to divorce her. FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, I'm staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML
Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML
Today, I heard my grandma sobbing in her room. After finally convincing her to tell me what was wrong, she confessed to watching a porn video last night. She thinks not being able to sleep afterwards is a sign that God is punishing her, and that she's damned our family to hell. FML
Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML
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Top comments
unlucky_vee_13 0
we're pretty close...but that's just TMI!
AliSama 17
she is probably just senile and is speaking of an earlier time. some elderly live in their childhood/young adulthood and still see things they saw when they here young/
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Comments (30)
unlucky_vee_13 0
we're pretty close...but that's just TMI!
msmidnight1965 12
That sucks so much :s
zomgbies 17
give her my phone number? XD
AlyKinks35 21
lol yes it is especially coming from your grandmother.
mleeb 0
seriously? no one needs to read this. like #4 said, TMI!
AliSama 17
she is probably just senile and is speaking of an earlier time. some elderly live in their childhood/young adulthood and still see things they saw when they here young/
katcri 0
You guys are stupid. #4 is the person who wrote the thing.
awefjio 0
lol ditto on #4. #5 owned
carriealana 0
HAHAHA #13 :)
holynemesis1208 3
no body can out beat the kid who's sister is a lesbian.
virgin4life 0
i feel ya
mizled 0
Unlucky_Vee_13 = 13 year old virgin? If so then I hate to say, WAY too young for sex. So I'm glad you're 81 year old grandmother is having more sex than you. If it's any consolaion I probably am too. xD
Heatstreak 0
ur grandma is pro XD