Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
The laceration I can fix. The stupid, not so much.
Andrew123123 9
Examine before you take action.
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Comments (76)
HappyBeach 4
I hope your hand heals quickly and is painless.
tne201992 12
Good Lord. Can you even breathe and walk at the same time?
jman112 2
Fag
darawbs 0
YDI for employing a knife you don't know how to use.
caleismyth 5
get your blade skills up OP and do yourself a favor and never try to defend yourself with a knife.
snafu63 0
Soda boxes have had this for several years more and even before that weren't that hard to open. What's wrong with you?
captain__jj 5
To be honest, some brands' easy open tabs are even more difficult to open than just tearing open the end of the box. Although why you would need to use a sharp knife is beyond me. Use your damn hands, or a butter knife.
vetgrl 2
what do you mean a box of soda? A case of carbonated beverages, or a box of baking soda? Very confused about your product and packaging.
LadyJoker21 0
Well don't u feel shitty
kitsune3 20
...I'm sorry, what? A box of soda? It's CARDBOARD! THIN cardboard, at that! What kind of weakling can't just tear open a thin layer of cardboard? I'm sorry, OP, but that's just plain sad. FYL because you're just pathetic.