Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, due to "severe cuts to the budget" at work, I had to stir my coffee with a paperclip. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
The laceration I can fix. The stupid, not so much.
Andrew123123 9
Examine before you take action.
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Comments (76)
Spottedfeather 7
I always just tear a hole in the box big enough to get my hand in. I know they have tabs, but I've just always ripped the box open. I've never heard of someone that didn't think and used a knife.
scuttlebuttz 1
They've only all had tabs for what, like a decade? More? I can totally understand OP wouldn't realize the tab was there.
cash_monkey72 9
I had a friend who did that with a bag of beef jerky once. While we were backpacking too.
Jasonf6 0
Blonde? :)
JiggyBoo123 11
[Comment deleted by user]
Dnigz13 4
You must have been extremely excited to get a soda out of that box if you didn't wanna take 5seconds to flip the box around for and easier way to open it
Toshido 10
What...are you new? The easy open pull tabs have been around for years..Also why would you use a knife...is the thin cardboard too tough? You completely deserve it.
hahalolss 2
wtf is soda?
karman850 7
Wtf uses a sharp knife to open a soda box.. I mean after being dumb enough not to use the easy way, did you not think of Scissors?????
alphabetsoup25 4
What the hell is a box of soda? I thought there were cans and bottles!