Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having my morning coffee while getting ready for work. I grabbed clothes off the floor to throw in the hamper. I accidentally threw my full coffee instead. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML
Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML
Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML
Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML
Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML
Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML
Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML
Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to take my bra off. FML
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Top comments
kofinater 3
damn, cereal is so good
bigbadtim 7
Cereal killer.
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Comments (31)
kofinater 3
damn, cereal is so good
NightMarePuppy 0
I know right!
turtlemansam 6
Oh my gosh your life is so hard
Cannavaro_fml 0
Any person that takes half an hour to clean up a broken olive oil bottle deserves this.
buttersthelorry 0
^Have you ever tried to clean up oil, of any kind, it does not clean up well. I work in a restaurant and a half-gallon of cooking oil broke open and my boss had me clean it up, it took well over a half hour to get it all cleaned up before you could walk on it without falling.
iwuvwolfz 0
lol just get dish detergent. it's really tough on oil
FailBear920 19
I use cat litter too soak up grease it would probably work for oil
Sarahfae 0
Why was there no lid on the oil? Or better yet, why was it not stored in a cupboard, and not one with cereal in it. And why would you put an empty box of cereal in the cupboard?
MissErikaHart 0
maybe the olive oil was in a glass bottle and it broke...?
ImaginaryFoe 1
If OP has children, all of your questions are answered.
aliaskis 3
my husband puts empty boxes back in the cupboard all the time. perhaps OP lives with an irresponsible and lazy person. I hope it wasn't the good olive oil. that's expensive stuff.
celtics18 0
... Shut the hell up.
bigbadtim 7
Cereal killer.
sourgirl101 29
(: Damn now I want cereal!
Kiill3rQu33n16 0
hahaha. cereal killer. like SERIAL killer. I see what you did there.
MissErikaHart 0
I imagine number 6 making the same face as she's figuring out the cereal killer joke
thrAsHeRr9081 16
Thanks for explaining that to me #6, otherwise I would never known.
thrAsHeRr9081 16
would have*
tyronnK 0
probably took you a long time too
ChesCanadaEh 0
20, 12 never said she was stupid. They were simply saying what if that was the face 6 made when they got it..
iwuvwolfz 0
lol i got it in an instance -_- cuz my dad always makes lame jokes, exactly like this one...
iwuvwolfz 0
lol I got it instantly -_- because my dad always makes lame jokes, exactly like this one... it's almost annoying
iwuvwolfz 0
lol sorry for the double post, my iPod is stupid... and damn anti-flood, how does it work anyways?
SarahMarie83 0
Crash and Burn?
stayc0103 0
Lol idiot!
DocBastard 40
Popeye must have been pissed.
mycookiezz 0
I see what u did there!!! Very nice
zp5 4
can't you tell the a difference in weight?
mintcar 10
Well... that's a bummer. It depends on which type though. If it was an empty box of Wheaties, then you shouldn't feel too bad. However, if it was Cinnamon Toast or Captain Crunch then FYL. There's nothing worse than wanting good cereal and not being able to have any.
aliaskis 3
captain crunch sucks. that crap shreds my mouth. I always regret eating it. those berries are just there to trick you into eating glass bits.
omgpotato 5
OMG the world is going to fuckn end!!!!
carlomanden 5
yeah.. THERES SO MANY THINGS I NEVER DID OMG OMG OMG!!!
iheartglasses 0
I dont see how anyone would put back an empty box anyway.. And I bet you'll learn not to keep glass in front of other objects :) Im sorry you had to clean up oil, that must have been a bitch to get up BUT you did bring it on yourself..
metawarr56 0
I appreciate this FML. It's a true FML. How they should be. It's not something that's really really unfortunate. I find it disturbing that people actually read this to hear miserable things. This is funny and relatable. Thanks, OP, for giving us something worthwhile.
H3ALTHFR3AK 0
I like real fml's "today, I got fired, my wife left me, and I was paralyzed from the waist down due to a fight with an angry horse"