Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper at me for the first time ever after 2 years of dating, and actually raised his voice. It turned me on, and I don’t just mean on, I mean OOONNNNNN. I was so wet it ran down my thighs and made an obvious damp spot in my jeans. FML
Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
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Top comments
otecasacid 22
Would it kill you to be a little frisky? I'm sure you do things during sex that aren't always to be considered attractive.
limitedition 25
That's pretty minor compared to what it could have been.
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Comments (118)
challan 19
Laughter can be a fantastic part of sex OP... Lighten up. You said "Raging Erection"... You let that go to waste for one silly comment?
DDCA 24
#14: I love you.
Fuji76 15
Ditto
vencku 13
Quite right. I've also laughed during sex. It's more fun if you don't take it serious. It's an experience that can include more than just pumping. Sure, a comment can be misplaced or you can think it's not amusing but ignore it then. If it kills the mood so easily, you were being oversensitive.
yoursucklives 36
you're right. my boyfriend once whispered "ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli" into my ear while having sex. we both nearly pissed ourselves. afterwards we continued *******, and it didn't ruin the mood a bit.
TheElBurrrito 21
#55: Your last sentence was so elegantly said. I'm jealous.
yoursucklives 36
well thanks, my good sir!
jackiemora 18
I'm wondering myself why you aren't in the mood? That was funny, not hysterical but enough to break the ice. That wouldn't have stopped me.
Inked0803 12
Men are baboons
Tim2415 16
Trying to set the rhythm...
01Ben21 10
He was just trying something new!
audreyfml1994 15
I would have just giggled a little and then carried on. I mean, sex is meant to be fun, right?
HortonThelephant 15
Don't be such a stiff op!
HortonThelephant 15
My inability to read the reply on comment 1 has left me to feel unoriginal and lame. I will go now, hanging my trunk in shame..
TheElBurrrito 21
So you did notice you were an elephant. What a relief knowing I'm not the only one who saw that.
hugepenises 1
Oh lighten up, have some fun. It's really not that bad
StEpHiE1226 12
This is one of the many reasons I'm gay...
miss_sqwert 19
I don't understand either grow a sense of humour.