Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper at me for the first time ever after 2 years of dating, and actually raised his voice. It turned me on, and I don’t just mean on, I mean OOONNNNNN. I was so wet it ran down my thighs and made an obvious damp spot in my jeans. FML
Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
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Top comments
otecasacid 22
Would it kill you to be a little frisky? I'm sure you do things during sex that aren't always to be considered attractive.
limitedition 25
That's pretty minor compared to what it could have been.
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Comments (118)
furbyface711 9
Having a sense of humor during sex is important. I would love that.
SingularityCore 3
Honestly, you suck for losing the mood over that. Lighten up.
KevinFumbles 9
Boyfriend and I*
abitofsteve 4
Nah, you're wrong. If OP had written 'Me and my boyfriend were getting steamy' you'd be bang on though. Besides, isn't correcting grammar online just so passe?
missmonkie 16
You need a little humor in your life.
thisiscool19 14
LOL that is embarassing but still its hilarious
mallu86 9
I think she's a lesbian.
kriz_allizwell 6
Dey Shey Dey Shey Basara Basara Basara...
DirkTheDiggler 13
So, you lost your wood as his rose? Interesting, either you're really bad at sex or you simply may not be attracted to penises. Speaking for every other guy, your guy is hilarious. Sex is supposed to be fun.
rinoa_fml 10
Why were you no longer in the mood?
steam_engenius 21
Ummmm, your boyfriend sounds kind of awesome. You apparently have no sense of humor whatsoever.