Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
Today, my boyfriend lost his temper at me for the first time ever after 2 years of dating, and actually raised his voice. It turned me on, and I don’t just mean on, I mean OOONNNNNN. I was so wet it ran down my thighs and made an obvious damp spot in my jeans. FML
Today, I climbed onto my boyfriend's lap and sexily told him "It's getting hot in here," and started unbuttoning my shirt. He said "Oh," pushed me off him, and went to turn the ceiling fan on. FML
Today, things were getting hot with my boyfriend and I started to breathe heavy and moan. He then says to me, "Babe, can you calm down, we're having sex not running a marathon." FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML
Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML
Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML
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Top comments
otecasacid 22
Would it kill you to be a little frisky? I'm sure you do things during sex that aren't always to be considered attractive.
limitedition 25
That's pretty minor compared to what it could have been.
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Comments (118)
Steve95401 49
It has risen indeed.
iammeorami 25
He could of been parting the Red Sea....
FlyingPie 17
Period sex? I might go throw up now..
anxietydisorderz 6
Ewww!
MissLeslie 0
It wouldn't kill the mood so much as I'd start laughing hysterically.
AlexiAwesome 10
Just role play
songtrees 8
He sounds hilarious. You are lucky to have found a man with a great sense of humor.
BananerzFresh 12
I would have laughed it off.
marlenoysis 7
Well you're no fun!!
Mimitrixie 11
You have no idea how hard I'm laughing right now!
TheWorldGreatest 8
Sometimes men don't have a clue about ,trying to please a women! Very selfish boys they are !
Marmarfarfar 25
I am pretty sure it rising is a good thing...