Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck, and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
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Top comments
ritzbits 0
it wouldn't been sexier if you were naked.
kingtz 6
Kinky! YDI for not getting electrified nipple clamps to go with your outfit.
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Comments (115)
ritzbits 0
it wouldn't been sexier if you were naked.
yazmi_09 3
kinky night eh?
LaneyyLOVE 0
Really! Mustv'e been one hell of a night!
bebz_fml 0
you could take the collar off..
AsianCookie247 14
hahaha ^^ I was thinking the same thing
redbluegreen 41
How would you suggest they take the collar off if they have handcuffs on?
goodbacon 2
Reach behind his head and unhook it. Just because he's handcuffed doesn't mean he cant move his hands together.
ShadyFTW1 0
No, you can still reach over your head and behind your neck.
smfyo 0
haha
HomeAl0ne 20
Naked, hands cuffed behind his back and with the electric dog collar around his genitals. That's how my mom would have done it.
tashaburr 0
I bet the dog was the one who got the op drunk...lol
nutsackmuscle 0
hello OP do you wanna play little game. :)
vabeach94 0
what if it was locked as well
teddy4nyy 13
i hate to think how u found out where the keys were
GreatGeak 8
100, Saw reference?
izztranlyn 2
lol
t52280 2
Your dumb.
cryssycakesx3 23
the better idea is turning off the fence...
dank1 0
Like old times...FIRST!!!
duckie227 22
second you mean? haha fail
neskian 0
third!
lol_ironic_life 9
hmm...tough one op unless you're very flexible and can get your arms to the front of your body. Ouch :/
iSitt 0
op didn't say his hands were behind him. and the book DUNE says you are human, so you can ignore the non lethal (by design) shock to reach the keys. However, pics of you last night are all over facebook by now. So fyl for that.
xiaoxaio 5
damn op, you really know how to party
darkpyro0988 0
you probably were the one who suggested in your drunken stupor that you could pull off the escape... I don't feel bad for you OP
deewekoms 0
win
Qluz 3
invisible doggy fence.....?!
Ranimal 12
It's like a sensor parameter so dogs get shocked if they go near or past the edge of it.
CrazyGirl445 4
I was wondering the same thing
magmarofl 5
Basically it's an invisible fence if the dog or whatever is wearing the collar passes it will get shocked to mark the area you place special flags it's happened to me also
gonzaval 0
next time don't drink to much lol
jmar411 12
Too
GoodLookingGeese 10
cool
mintcar 10
YDI. YDI. Drinking to the point of being completely inebriated is something I'll never understand.
RenaBena7 0
Mhm.!
explodingmuffint 0
yeah. you don't need to drink to say stupid shit :D
riley322 0
You have proved that for the second time today 48. If mintcar doesn't want to "invest" in alcohol that's her choice. Stop being a douche sir.
emjay09 0
67 ftw!!
ThickHead 0
legs are long, just take off your shoes an socks, you can do that even with handcuffed hands
gogokira 5
What if OP is a midget?