Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck, and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
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Top comments
ritzbits 0
it wouldn't been sexier if you were naked.
kingtz 6
Kinky! YDI for not getting electrified nipple clamps to go with your outfit.
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Comments (115)
keyrez 0
I just about passed out this made me laugh so hard haha. Please do tell us how you escaped!
hope_q 0
please do ..... We're curious
buoe03 0
Haha this is a true test of manliness
FruitSalad4225 0
Hello, OP. I want to play a game.
ferninja 0
Why wouldn't you just take the collar off. The keys are for the cuffs...?
waffleunicorn 0
well it fine cause your from the uk lol
ajinfamous 0
That'll happen
mitso874 0
Ok, I have a few things to say about this: 1. I use an invisible fence for my dog because apparently she can jump over 5 foot walls and I want to keep her safe, so don't get mad at OP for trying to keep his dog safe by having one of these. 2. There is usually a warning zone where it will beep several feet before getting to the fence, then it will shock you more and more the closer you get to it... so if he was too afraid to get shocked, simply finding where it's plugged in and turning it off wouldn't have worked since he would have to get close enough to shock him! 3. OP is a wimp if he's too afraid to walk through the perimiter... I tested my dog fence out before putting the collar on my dog... it was a good shock, but not painful... just scary!
xela96 0
use your legs to get the keys. and it shouldn't take to long to bring your hands in front of yourself. damn all the chicks from Cali on here are hooooooootttt
TheRealEllieSan 9
HAHAHA! sounds like a toned down version of something out of Saw
k99 5
That sounds like a awesome night. How'd you get out, or manage to type this.