Today, I went to a doctor's appointment, being concerned about some abnormal swelling and soreness in one of my testicles. They fondled my balls for 20 seconds before saying, "Yeah, that's abnormal. You should probably go get an ultrasound somewhere and maybe take some ibuprofen for the pain. That'll be $265." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
Today, my doctor called with my test results, which seem to tell him that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me. I'm still sitting here with an appendage that I'd swear was dispensing napalm, but now I have a $500 bill to go with it. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a suspicious lump under my armpit, so he suggested a breast examination. While pressing all over them he said, "We're gonna have to send you for an X-ray because you have the most lumpy breasts I've ever felt in my life." FML
Today, I had to get a prostate exam. Right before the doctor started, he told me that if I found it awkward at all, I should just imagine I was being probed by aliens. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML
Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML
Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML
Today, I went to have a breast exam. The doc told me that she would touch different parts of my breasts, and said to tell her if at any point it felt painful. As she was examining me, I was going to say that it wasn't painful, but instead I blurted out, "It feels good." FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Why are you complaining? Ball-fondling is expensive! I went to a discount urologist and only got 2-3 seconds of ball-fondling.
ajsz051 3
please go somewhere else to get this checked out. I do not want to scare you but my husband is a testicular cancer survivor and you need to get this looked at!
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Comments (4)
RichardPencil 32
Why are you complaining? Ball-fondling is expensive! I went to a discount urologist and only got 2-3 seconds of ball-fondling.
Plop 17
Professional ball-fondling should cost no more than 2-300$ per hour. According to a friend of mine. Whom I've never met, I swear!
RichardPencil 32
Your "friend" is an impostor. Ball-fondling is purchased in increments of seconds, not hours. You buy steel by the ton, but gold by the ounce.
phybreawptic 13
So the attending physician/doctor told you how much you owed for your bill? Also, MRI's require a referral (in my experience) and I hope you left there with one. Otherwise you'll end up needing another doc visit.
Jon Tessler 14
they didn't say MRI, they said Ultrasound, which can be done in office, without a referral. depending on what his insurance will or won't pay, yep, they can tell you your bill when you leave, or at least your co-pay, which has to be paid when you get seen.
ajsz051 3
please go somewhere else to get this checked out. I do not want to scare you but my husband is a testicular cancer survivor and you need to get this looked at!
Nhayaa2.0 17
As a french, my comment is only to agree with OP's nickname.