Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck, and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML
Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
Today, my dogs broke through our electric fence, one of whom managed to get his collar off. I picked it up and, without thinking, went across the fence line. I screamed like a chihuahua being run over by a bulldozer. FML
Today, I went to pick up my dog from the vet after she had surgery. I somehow managed to lock my keys, my purse, and my dog in the car. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I woke up after a night of drinking in my backyard. All I was wearing were my boxers and one sock. I staggered up to see my car halfway through my garage wall, with a note saying, "Sorry dude". FML
Today, I was arrested for breaking into a house. This is what happens when I lose my key. FML
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Top comments
ritzbits 0
it wouldn't been sexier if you were naked.
kingtz 6
Kinky! YDI for not getting electrified nipple clamps to go with your outfit.
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Comments (115)
GoingLesbian 0
My kinda night!!! Boom bam baby!
FYLDeep 26
I can grab my wrist with one of my arms while it's behind my back and move my arms underneath my legs to the front of my body just fine. I can't even touch my toes without running first and I can do this no problem. You should have been able to get your arms to the front of your body. How out of shape are you? I mean, I think I've seen Jackie Chan get handcuffed arms from his back to his front just by jumping up in the air. I don't think it's a difficult thing to do at all.
Alaskarocks 0
Congrats you wanna cookie? You don't have a handcuffing problem do you? No? Stfu
theskaven 2
while you are considering how to get out, it's time to scheme for some serious payback!
the_undead 11
Kinky ;) bahaha :P
GoPro2Oh 0
Sounds like a Saw movie.
fizzypop14 3
you typed this so can't you take the collar off?
kthxbie 10
Since it was your sofa, it probably was your electric dog collar. Admit it, you had it coming :)
MikeJones6969 0
sounds like something off of SAW hah
Animeninja117 2
Wow.... Rough night, eh?
AllieTheAwesome 0
its not a matter of what kind of shape you are in its about flexablity (i really dont care if i spelled that wrong or not)