Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML
Today, I’m getting a very interesting demonstration of how genetics work: I have inherited all my dad’s health issues, plus those from my mom, plus a bunch of new ones that belong exclusively to me. FML
Today, my dad's will included a DNA test he did on me when I was 3, proving I’m not his son. I thought we had a great relationship, but apparently he secretly hated me all these years for mom cheating, and decided to embarrass me in front of our family, half of whom it turns out I’m not related to. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML
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Top comments
smilevue 23
It's all in the technique. ;)
dman798 18
Be confident in yourself and how you are
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Comments (147)
ImagineCrazy 27
Ew? O_o
louiswood 13
It will grow
BrailynRaylynn 22
Size comes from the mother's genes, not the father's (contrary to popular belief). Besides, size isn't everything.
bobslawnservice 16
Reading all these folks say size doesn't matter makes me laugh. Some women like them big, some women like them small, some women don't care at all. The trick is to find someone you are compatible with.
PANDORUM89 21
idky you're being downvoted, everything you said is true. Just because a girl thinks you're too small doesn't mean to another girl you wont be big or perfect. The opposite applies as well. one girl could think you're huge and not enjoy intimacy with you and another girl would be crazy about it. compatibility is important, our parts aren't universal when it comes to having enjoyable sex for both people.
vikky538 29
What you wanna do now? Do a dna test?
expireance 8
Thats sooo stupid to complain about
Lars93 18
dude, dafuq did I just read ?
rav3njustic3 18
who's got the biggest? lol Kik me.!!! @always_his_
uatittielicker 10
as long as you don't have a micropenis I think you will be okay
davincidasecond 24
Count your blessings, friend. It's a bitch to find a woman who can take it when you're a good deal above average.