Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML
Today, I’m getting a very interesting demonstration of how genetics work: I have inherited all my dad’s health issues, plus those from my mom, plus a bunch of new ones that belong exclusively to me. FML
Today, my dad's will included a DNA test he did on me when I was 3, proving I’m not his son. I thought we had a great relationship, but apparently he secretly hated me all these years for mom cheating, and decided to embarrass me in front of our family, half of whom it turns out I’m not related to. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML
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Top comments
smilevue 23
It's all in the technique. ;)
dman798 18
Be confident in yourself and how you are
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Comments (147)
KxHoneyCombxP 24
sounds like not
samlovesham1234 9
Speaking as a woman and from experience, it's also about which positions are more pleasurable too.
militarybrat 21
Some are growers some are showers. Besides, size doesnt matter its how you work it that does. And this is coming from a chick.
deathshead 19
size doesnt just come from your father, remember your mothers side of the family has genetics too
truckers_wife 23
unless you walked in on him when he had a boner, there's a chance he's not bigger than you are. the size of a penis when it is soft doesn't determine the size of it when it's hard. someone with a small penis can have a huge boner, and someone with a large penis might not grow much when it gets hard.
PANDORUM89 21
it's actually proven that guys with larger Johnson's get less cookies because most girls are not willing to chance it or it won't fit without hurting. Unless you would prefer a life with less sex and more BJs then you don't want a larger Richard.
labaro19 17
I'm gonna get hate for this and I don't mean it I'm sure you're fine op but Soooo his was huge?
SecundusSecunda 27
Nah, it was tiny So tiny, in fact, that an FML spawned and made a 15 year old girl inquire of the tiny penis
JohnnyWake0 13
I have to comment that I don't have a comment for that one
Laynee90 5
did you know the more you play with it or the more sex you have it has a bigger chance to grow. also if you don't wear boxers and let it breath sometimes then it can grow to the side or not very much at all..
bandaidstations 28
It's a muscle so yes, using it more will make it a bit bigger. It's not going to go from 3 or 4 to 7 or 8 inches though.
Just4EverBeingMe 4
Why is this intimacy?
drrobotnik1 18
because that's the umbrella they put all the sex stories under. they renamed it "intimacy" when the site bowdlerized itself once it became more popular and they made other larger changes, like changing the votes from "your life is ******" and "you totally deserved it" to "I agree your life sucks" and "you deserved it."