Today, I accidentally walked in on my dad as he was getting changed. Now I know genetics can be a real bitch. With such a massive difference in size, I have to question whether I'm even biologically related to this old three-legged git. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML
Today, I found out that the weird guy that lives next door is my biological father. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML
Today, I’m getting a very interesting demonstration of how genetics work: I have inherited all my dad’s health issues, plus those from my mom, plus a bunch of new ones that belong exclusively to me. FML
Today, my dad's will included a DNA test he did on me when I was 3, proving I’m not his son. I thought we had a great relationship, but apparently he secretly hated me all these years for mom cheating, and decided to embarrass me in front of our family, half of whom it turns out I’m not related to. FML
Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML
Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML
Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML
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Top comments
smilevue 23
It's all in the technique. ;)
dman798 18
Be confident in yourself and how you are
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Comments (147)
Born2Pizza 23
It's about the motor in the boat. ;)
Lalala579121 28
And size definitely doesn't matter for motorboating.
zaidthunder1 27
It's about the raw power in the motor of the boat.
enginsteve 17
It's about the torque in the raw power on the motor on the boat
ThrottleJockey 36
It's going to take a long time to get across the ocean with a trolling motor.
HotFrosty 14
It will be years before you will be able to look him in the eye without that image flashing in your brain. Welcome to therapy!
writergirl1029 17
After a certain point, big penises aren't even pleasurable for most women. Average is best, but "small" is good too if you know how to use it. Don't forget about your fingers and mouth, which most women prefer.
ShaynaMarie322 15
Don't be down! When females say it's not about size, it's how you use it, they're not lying. Promise.
captainsmegma 12
Daddy's got a big one. Now you know why mommy walks funny.
Dick_diamond 22
You made me lol. That deserves a thumbs up
kainpwnsu 19
*Eating breakfast* "Morning, mom" *Mom hobbles into kitchen, unbalanced* "Morning, son" *Son tries to un-imagine what just conspired*
magic_zack4 7
It's the motion of the ocean, not the size of the ship...It is called a ship because it carries all the seamen.
limegreenpoopie 31
I feel the same way with how pretty my mom is :(
RedPillSucks 33
you shouldnt
leaannec30 18
for any girl who says bigger the better they have serious issues ... we are not built to insert baseball bats and call it pleasurable... big or small doesnt matter is about the talent behind the penis that matters. chin up hunni you will be just fine!
RedPillSucks 33
welcome to one of the social effects of the **** industry
tzuri4 11
Just the fact that you walked In on your dad changing is enough to be an FML.
derangedplanet 23
But what about the fact that his first thought was the size difference.... emotionally disturbed? only be his lack of a dick like his father's.
Miss_Whipped 43
It might just be something he's been insecure about for some time, and walking in on someone who is more endowed probably didn't help. Has nothing to do with being "emotionally disturbed."
FSGInsainity 15
I know the pain