Today, my son is going to jail for robbing our church. This happened a year after my daughter was arrested for breaking in to the same church so she could have sex as a big "Fuck You" to God. I can’t show my face there anymore, and it’s the only church within 50 miles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son and daughter-in-law are both going to jail for the same crime. I’m recently retired but I’m now stuck raising their bratty 15 year-old and their new baby, who’s less than a year old. I’m nearly 70 years-old, I can’t do this shit anymore. I certainly can’t afford it on a pension. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML
Today, my daughter's idea of a prank was taking all of our money and getting herself arrested. FML
Today, I got a phone call from my husband in jail. He was detained for statutory rape. The girl was his 15 year-old coworker at McDonald’s. He’s 42. I can’t tell which is worse, the fact that we have a daughter the same age, or that he actually wanted me to bail him out. FML
Today, I posted bail for my mom from jail. She did a hit and run, and then resisted arrest. When I asked why she didn’t stay at the scene, she unapologetically said, “I was gonna be late to church.” FML
Today, my daughter told me that now that she's a Christian, I can no longer see my grandchildren unless I repent from my "homosexual lifestyle." FML
Today, I had to yell at both my adult children; my daughter for having an OnlyFans page and my son for finding the page, blackmailing her for money for two months, then telling me about it when she refused to keep paying. I'm not a proud parent right now. FML
Today, my son-in-law slapped my daughter, so I put him in an armhold and threw him outside. My daughter refused to press charges so he got away, but then he pressed charges against me for hitting his head against the wall when I threw him, so I got arrested instead. Justice is a shitting joke. FML
Today, my son has to go live with my brother, because he got his half-sister pregnant. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
Seems you were pushing church a little too much to your kids and they rebelled. You can always still go to that church, but expect the side eyes you will get
Crowned Sataness 12
if both of your children felt the need to rebel against religion that hard, there is something seriously wrong with both that church and how you're forcing it on them.
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Comments (6)
mike3775 39
Seems you were pushing church a little too much to your kids and they rebelled. You can always still go to that church, but expect the side eyes you will get
Brightside86 31
Nail on the head. Hopefully op was already thinking this.
RichardPencil 32
Atheism is sounding pretty good about now.
Crowned Sataness 12
if both of your children felt the need to rebel against religion that hard, there is something seriously wrong with both that church and how you're forcing it on them.
Jaffster69 6
You’re going to go to hell! Lol
J_Free_Woods 29
WTF would you say that to someone?
RichardPencil 32
Because they loosed two heretics unto the world. I'm not sure what the rules for "Sins of the Children," but raising two demons can't look good on the application.
DanielleinDC 34
This church must be really bad--or you pushed religion too hard--if they acted this way. And if God is everywhere, find an online service and worship at home.
clair_brodie 35
The only church at all or the only religion you want to go to? Are you going for God or to make friends with the parishioners? If the former, then remember scripture from Matthew - When you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men … but when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your father who is unseen.”