Today, my kids are at the age where they no longer want to go to church, and if I take them anyway, they misbehave on purpose to embarrass me. I don’t even want to go, my wife is the religious one, but if I refuse to go she’ll see to it I get hell on earth daily. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my wife is very insistent that we try to get our boys more involved in her religion, starting with church tomorrow morning. She foolishly trusts our boys to behave. They really don’t want to go and I’m convinced they’re plotting something bad, like real bad, the devious little hooligans. FML
Today, after I recently started going back to church, my husband, who was last inside a church when he was replacing a boiler, told me I’d better knock it off because our kids threatened to stop visiting, and our neighbours think we’re “that couple.” FML
Today, I was asked to leave a church service for laughing at the kids trying to sing. FML
Today, I told my wife I wanted to reconnect with my religion. She told me that if I wanted to I could, but to expect divorce papers when I got back because she doesn’t intend to be married to one of those boring ass religious nut jobs ruining her Sunday mornings. FML
Today, my sister-in-law is refusing to let me or my children be a part of her kids' lives. She’s even going as far as trying to make my brother stop speaking to us as well. Why? Simply because I'm an atheist. FML
Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML
Today, my daughter was complaining about having no friends. My son told her it’s her own fault for attending church 3 times a week and trying to convert everyone at school like a Jehovah's witness who you can’t shut the door on. He’s 100% right but now she won’t stop crying. FML
Today, I was telling my kids off for some misbehaviour when my wife chimed in that in all honestly, they were just behaving like I do most days. I had zero defence to that because it’s true. I've now got a wife and three kids who won’t stop mocking me FML
Today, I don't know why I bothered taking my family to the beach. All my wife wants to do is shop at the same crappy cheap chains she always goes to, and all my son wants to do is watch cartoons. Whenever I suggest anything different, they both throw tantrums. FML
Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML
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Top comments
sarsuela 29
Stand up for your kids.
tiptoppc 21
Yeah, if they see through this B.S., it’s obvious what you need to do. If not, well, they’ll end up hating you for being a spineless weasel pushing crap even you don’t like. Seriously, tell your wife to keep her religious convictions to herself. If not, show her the door. Don’t let the kids suffer from her group hallucinations and drag them into it.
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Comments (6)
sarsuela 29
Stand up for your kids.
Petit Etre Malfaisant 23
Stand up for your kids and for yourself
tiptoppc 21
Yeah, if they see through this B.S., it’s obvious what you need to do. If not, well, they’ll end up hating you for being a spineless weasel pushing crap even you don’t like. Seriously, tell your wife to keep her religious convictions to herself. If not, show her the door. Don’t let the kids suffer from her group hallucinations and drag them into it.
DLBL 23
I'm Christian but I know it's a big mistake to shove religion down anyone's throat. Spiritual stuff is very personal, and your wife needs to back off. Sorry for your plight.
FluffythePink 23
Next time, give the kids to your wife to deal with. Bet it takes about 3 more times before she 'decides' that it might be better for you to just stay home with them instead. They don't Believe. They don't see why they should and they're going to be public goblins until you stop forcing them to participate. You either cut your losses and save your dignity now or you deal with them learning to ask VERY awkward questions until you're all asked to leave the church... Which would your wife prefer?
Brightside86 31
That's rough, 12 year old me never managed to crack that situation. Be thankful she isn't Mormon, church is 3 hours +, and then you have to go to people's houses to collect "Fast Sunday offerings" which is money for the church saved from the breakfast you skipped before church.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Religion is like a penis. It's fine to have one, great to be proud of it, but do NOT force it down someone's throat. /mic drop