Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, I actually had to explain to my husband why his habit of wiping his boogers off into our baby's hair has to stop. FML
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight because I refused to let him use my fingernail to clean the plaque off his teeth. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why chewing "shit-tons of gum" is not an actual alternative to brushing his teeth. FML
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, I went to the dentist, telling him proudly that I had flossed for two straight weeks. The dentist told me that flossing wouldn't undo “Whatever happened back there.” FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML
Today, I was fiddling with a ring my aunt hand made me, accidentally slipping it off, and dropped it in the toilet. Like an idiot, I scrambled to get it out only for my bending over to activate the automatic flush. FML
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Top comments
Schizomaniac 24
Yeah, you're definitely right. As a microbiology student, I can tell you that aquatic bacteria are generally more badass than those that thrive on hard surfaces. Ground bacteria usually abide by the 5 second rule because they respect the law, but aquatic species are outlaws. They don't give a ****. I actually saw "**** the police" tattooed on an aquatic bacterium's head one time. You don't mess with them.
OnlyAvailableID 28
It would explain the yellow stains on his teeth.
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Comments (54)
tnasone2 6
eww
warfare32 9
Oh wow. This has made it to my favorites list. Sorry op that your husband is slightly dumb. Why try to save floss? Unless it was the last bit, there is a years supply in a single thing!
UMadBro_87 3
But it makes the floss so flavoursome :)
poloy325 9
What if it was butt floss
kellmer123 6
I like the username
gemmadaws 3
Hang onto that one what a keeper
Epicchicken12 6
The 5 second rule never applies to anything, because bacteria travels faster than a millisecond on to anything like food for example, so all that bacteria is already on that ten fold since it was in the toilet bowl. That's just gross.
LMAOking123 15
What is the 5 second-rule never heard of it…
Nederlander95 14
Theoretically if your toilet is well maintained and it was flushed after last use, it's not THAT disgusting. Still pretty gross. If this wasn't the case, this may be one of the grossest things I've ever heard.
OneFrayDragons 11
Easy. "Put that in ur mouth and I won't kiss u for a life time"