Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
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Top comments
areyoukiddingme7 0
that really suckss. but did you drop the cookies? lol
DDDDana 0
Daaaang. Cookies shouldn't ever be the cause of pain.
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Comments (125)
BeautyAndBrains 0
Ouch! I hope you feel better soon, and that your burns aren't severe.
discoinferno 0
Yikes. I gasped when I read this, haha.
mysecondskin 0
ahhhhhhhh that sucks!!! why would anybody say you deserved it
BJacobs 0
i've never seen an oven that doesn't snap shut when it is at least halfway closed. you have a ghetto oven.
LuvinChronic 0
burnt ass!!! dayum thats ****** up man!!! I'd hate to be da one hu has to tap that ass.
berryfondue 0
Are you alright?! I hope you feel better!
muchlovezoe 0
um, stuff. HAH. major lolz. On a related note, may I extend my heartfelt condolences to the said "um, stuff." speedy recovery, my friend.
vvtumblesbee 0
i also offer my condolences to your "stuff". but just out of curiosity, why were you not wearing underwear?
EmmyRahh 5
he had probably just been in the shower and needed to get the cookies out so they wouldn't'my burn... ouch tjo
EmmyRahh 5
wow stupid touch phone predict text
kayykatastrophii 0
Oh my gosh! That's horrible! But you sound terribly accident prone. Perhaps you should live in a bubble.
Vonnick 0
You could have burned the cookies.