Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a coworker thought it would be funny to put a tack on my chair. When I sat down, it went directly into my butt. When I sprang up, I hit my head on a lamp. I then hit my head on my desk on the way down. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer browsing various websites. In my attempt to scoot the chair forward, I hit my knee against the desk that my computer was on, and ended up breaking it. I literally broke my knee sitting on my ass. FML
Today, I was trying to replace the lightbulb in my bedroom. Since I couldn't reach it by myself, I grabbed and stood on a chair. After I got two broken bones, and had stitches in my forehead, I figured that using a chair with wheels probably wasn't the best idea after all. FML
Today, I almost burned the house down while changing a lightbulb. FML
Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Today, I went to sit on my bed in the pitch black and I somehow completely misjudged where I was standing in the room, so I missed the bed entirely and sat down on thin air. With nothing to stop me falling, I landed full bore on my ass and felt my coccyx snap. FML
Today, as I was walking home late at night, some asshole threw a lit cigarette butt out of their balcony. It fell between my glasses and my eye and left a burn mark on my cheek. FML
Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML
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Top comments
jezane 9
Wasn't that a "bright" idea...
yahoowizard 16
I must ask, were you wearing pants?
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Comments (62)
Mauskau 36
Oh dear. Atleast it wasn't another glass jar incident of it being inside you first (there's a video somewhere I've never seen it but I've heard about it)
Castiell_fml 0
Are you talking about that one man one jar video? Its nasty
Mauskau 36
Yup, if it's called that.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Ugh. You don't want to see that vid.
Swiftly 0
Lol 1 guy 1 jar
Kir0v 3
Don't watch it! A friend showed me it and dude that's like three different kinds on pain right there....
lebronesque73091 12
Second nastiest thing I've ever seen in my life.
Swiftly 0
Whats gross about that is how he even managed to fit a jar that size in there
kyarush 10
1 guy 1 cup. Yes... You should watch it... If you want to see a glass jar burst in a mans ass and watch him dig out the glass and blood stream out like you turned on the faucet the hear him scream "****!" because he realized he will die unless he goes to the E.R. And that the story he will tell the nurse will be one for the books... Is that the bid you speak of #1?
MareNostrum 0
Did this cause you to break a mirror, glasses and need an ice pack for your head?
kaylamahoney90 12
Do not watch that video. I can not imagine sitting on glass. Ouch!
jezane 9
Wasn't that a "bright" idea...
ninjaniki 0
lighten up, at least the glass isn't still in there!
ambowew 7
I'm sure it's as clear as day, that you've seen the error of your ways.
CaptainCola 7
Must have been a real pain in the ass...
Insane_Tea 15
Ofcourse it was. You don't stick things were the light don't shine.
TheFirstSamurai 18
I suppose this wasn't the highlight of her day.
desireev 18
It's okay, OP. Your life isn't shattered. Just lighten up and keep moving on!
Jakesterk96 8
Look on the bright side, at least your room is clean...
alwaysn4ever 0
Bright ass idea!
cheaptrix 6
I cringed when read this fml, I kinda wish I had been left in the dark
DryHumor 4
c-c-c-combo breaker!
efynsien 1
Cheer up. The glass is half full.
rahrah765765 11
Full of bright ideas?
NitroTonicsFML 4
Light that ass up. FYL though that sounded like it sucked ass. Kay I'm done.
yahoowizard 16
I must ask, were you wearing pants?
Pentium_4 27
we all know what computers are REALLY used for. some people approach their computer with their pants already off
OhHushDear 11
Well. Ouch. I hope you don't need stitches... Talk about an awkward visit to the emergency room =P
OhHushDear 11
I don't think that a single case of absent-mindedness would cause OP's reproduction to be "pollution of our race." Forgetfullness is something that happens to all of us, it just happens at worse times for some than it does for others.
xbella 8
be happy you didn't cut your cojones.
GoW_Chick 15
Watt I'm thinking is you're not the brightest bulb, next time switch on your brain.
Frexual 0
C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!
GoW_Chick 15
Hmm.. I do not see this C-C-C-COMBO you are trying to break. Better luck next time..?
cscott3131 0
Fun game... Lame reply. Better luck next time. :D