Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML
Today, I burned my butt on the heater when I tried to warm up after my shower. FML
Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML
Today, I managed to spill piping hot oil all over my kitchen floor, thinking it was too hot to clean right then and there I left it for a few hours to cool. I forgot about it, and slipped over in it bashing my head into my cupboard handle. FML
Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room and set my burnt out light bulb on my computer chair without any second thought. Later, I sat on the chair, the light bulb shattered and I got a huge gash on my butt. FML
Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML
Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML
Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML
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Top comments
areyoukiddingme7 0
that really suckss. but did you drop the cookies? lol
DDDDana 0
Daaaang. Cookies shouldn't ever be the cause of pain.
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Comments (125)
EffYoLife 14
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS AWFUL!!! why am i cracking up? rotflmao!!!!! im sorry. thats horrible i hope ur ok. but the visual of that is HILARIOUS!
carly546 0
i literally shuddered when i read this
Dr_Pepper_fml 3
lmfao
FlashCadet 0
That's what your ass gets, what the hell are you going baking... while naked
tRiViUm256 0
omg.... ouch. good look with that burn
Just94 0
Girlfriends have been know to make their boyfriend dress up in, um, "interesting" clothes for them. And maybe he was baking cookies for his girlfriend... I don't think it is reprehensible for a man to bake cookies. The problem is with the oven, not the dude. Also, this made me shudder. Sorry dude :(
Ima_fail 0
Oh sweets, I hope you get better soon. But if your "stuff" is red, and really sensitive, or possibly even starts to blister, see a doctor right away. During the healing process, since the skin is so fragile down there, while healing the skin could fuse together. I wish you the best, hun. That really sucks, and I hope you stop hurting soon. Eat a few of those cookies, eh? Make you feel better. ;)
topbanana22 0
well at least u have a hot ass!
daffyduck69 0
I call fake. Sounds to perfect. And the tray wouldnt b there if u closed the door, it would have pushed the tray in thre oven. Nice try tho!
starberries 0
What the hell are you talking about? The oven door hit him and then he sat on it. The only tray he mentioned was the one he took out of the oven.
BarbieBlanca 10
your comment made no sense at all wtf. read slowly.
onfire916 0
OWWWWWWWWWw!!!!!!!!!!!!