Today, as I realized I'm too broke to go out and get more toilet paper, I noticed my cat chewing on something and tearing it apart. It was my last roll. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I accidentally dropped a whole roll of toilet paper into the toilet. It was my last roll. FML
Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML
Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML
Today, after a day, I finally noticed that the toilet paper I'd been using to wipe my butt is actually a roll of paper towel cut in half. My dad thinks that it's a waste of money to buy proper paper. Guess who had to unclog the toilet twice. FML
Today, I used the last of the toilet paper to blow my nose while taking a dump. FML
Today, I went into the bathroom and got angry upon finding that once again, no one had bothered to put on a new roll of toilet paper. And then I remembered that I live alone. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, after my landlord has refused to fix the bathroom plumbing problem in my apartment for several days, I had to buy cat litter for myself. FML
Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML
Today, after feeding my cats, I walked out of the room. Five minutes later, I heard one of them making a hacking sound. Knowing the outcome, I went to get some paper towels to wipe up the mess. When I went in, my other cat was eating it. Certain things cannot be unseen. FML
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Top comments
Dave_Davington 35
Well, cat fur is very soft and absorbent, and it'll teach the little bastard a valuable lesson about destroying your shit tickets. I think it's quite clear what you must do.
manb91uk 22
Better be prepared to sacrifice some socks!
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Comments (13)
ChakatBlackstar 29
This is when your improvising skills and hygiene skills are put to the test.
manb91uk 22
Better be prepared to sacrifice some socks!
Dave_Davington 35
Well, cat fur is very soft and absorbent, and it'll teach the little bastard a valuable lesson about destroying your shit tickets. I think it's quite clear what you must do.
mt21mt 15
I hope you can afford food for your cat!
neuronerd 29
While it's low quality, dollar stores carry toilet paper. If you don't even have $1 (plus sales tax), you could either ask a friend or, if you're desperate, go somewhere like the public library where you're not expected to pay for anything, and grab a few handfuls to hold you over (since usually full rolls are locked up).
Yudith 28
I heard good things about rinsing with water. Just keep a bucket of water and a couple of face cloths near your toilet. As a bonus, you will never ever forget to wash your hands afterwards. Forget it if you don't have enough money to buy laundry soap, though.
carriegirl098 16
Sell the cat
Lobby_Bee 18
Time to raid the office toilet.
KIEdekka 14
another reason I hate cats
Stealthninjaa 19
You can buy a 4 pack of toilet paper at the dollar store, start keeping an eye out for change.