Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while at work, my boss asked me to clean the bathroom. Someone had pooped on the floor and I stepped in it, dropping my manager's keys into the toilet. I then had to clean up my shoe and the floor, and put my hand in the toilet to get the keys. FML
Today, I dropped my keys in the toilet. While in the kitchen looking for something to fish them out with, I heard a door slam. My sister had to use the bathroom and didn’t see my keys in the toilet before sitting down. Lucky me, I caught her just as she was about to flush. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, not only did I shit myself on my way to work, I left my house keys in the bathroom after I cleaned up. It's $90 to replace them. FML
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML
Today, I had to flush someone else's shit in the public washroom at work. It was so vile, I didn't want to get anywhere near it, so flushed it with my foot, only for it to slip off the handle and into the toilet. FML
Today, at work, an old lady dropped her lipstick into the ladies' room toilet, which is out of order and won't flush. I had to reach in and pull it out amid human waste. She thanked me, then uncapped it, and put some on her lips. FML
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Top comments
LadyClarik 8
At least it wasn't written in shit....
robc32ca 4
reach in and grab you can always wash your hands
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Comments (147)
ant1078 7
damn co-workers...time to smack a ho
kittykat1497 7
use that pimpin' hand freely
cory975 3
Keep an open hand. That'll keep you out of prison. - D.T.
Freeze_fml 17
Dropping your keys in the toilet accidentally seems a bit difficult.
Scooter42 15
I can't believe it took 14 people to point that out. How do you accidentally drop your keys in the toilet? Were you swinging them around your finger? I could see if you were a guy standing to pee and decided to see if you had change for the pop machine. And why not just reach into the bowl and grab them then wash your hands?
CallMeHush 1
At least they didn't flush.
LikeaPRESIDENT 0
hehe no one flushes on public bathrooms :(
xJudii 5
That's disgusting.
barlessprison 16
Must be another FML user since they incorporated that stupid, overused pun. But hey, FYL. Never underestimate people and assume a bunch of keys are going to stop them from using the toilet.
hiyourcute 0
You do realize that pun existed long before fml, right?
ObeseKitten 0
want me to thumb up that shitty complaint?
Amburito 0
Oh poo :c...
LexxyLiime 0
I see what you did there. ;)
GlittersL 0
I can't comprehend why someone would do that??? If its the only bathroom (no stalls) and they REALLY had to go I can kind of understand just going, but writing that message just pushes it way over the top! If anything it should has said "Sorry!". FYL OP!
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
cos it's funny?
Xx_Dakota_xX 1
cuz*
Illyssa_fml 4
Hahaha! That's just nasty! but an epic win at the same time!
solarrunner 16
Okay, I don't get this one, so nobody did not use the toilet...?
jpretz 1
it's just easier to call u stupid
plebeianFelix 5
ladies: staying classy since 13000bc